Dear Diary,
This is Trotty again. I know I only wrote to you this morning but this job to run the “Extractive Sector” is very stressful. It’s almost as stressful as dealing with Nagga Man and Rum Jhaat. I thought when I rigged the Vreed-en-Hoop election and dumped those two losers, I’d be on easy street. They were whining all the time because they thought they’d be given some real power!! Little did they know the Nassau Accord trumped the Coming Bug Accord!!
It was so much easier when I was in charge of “Governance”. First of all, half the fun was knowing the job had been promised to Nagga Man!! All I had to do was pass on Prezzie’s orders to Ministers like Rum Jhaat. But Har Min wanted to be the Big Man In Cabinet (BMIC) and said you can’t have two Man Crab in one hole. Have you seen him Dear Diary? That is one, mean looking Man Crab!! I wasn’t about to argue with him.
So they sent me to “Extractive Sector”. They asked me if I had experience in that area, Dear Diary…and of course I said, “Yes!” Look how much I had extracted from businessmen during the campaign, when I told them about making “political investments”. That was like the gift that kept on giving, Dear Diary, because now I can give them dividends in my new job – which I discovered had to do with digging minerals and stuff from beneath the soil.
But I don’t have time to scratch my bald head, Dear Diary. First they sent me to Paris to handle COP 21. I was happy because I thought I was going to deal with policing matters, and taking that away from Rum Jhaat! But then I found out it had to do with climate change? What the heck Climate had to do with “Extractive Sector”?? Nobody wanted to make “political investments” in that.
But now that X-on found oil, I have to accept “political Investments” all day long. It’s not easy to keep track to give dividends, Dear Diary.
