The Eskimos had 52 names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. Margaret Atwood
As a Canadian, Atwood would herself know more than a thing or two about snow: as a novelist and poet, she’s obviously thought much about love to have posed the question above. And yes… she did pose a question since every proposition (eg, “there ought to be as many words for love”) is an answer to a question!
To a great extent the movies have defined our notions of “romantic” lobe. Among my favourite is the “oldie” Casablanca, with the inimitable Rick and Ilsa. The theme there is love as “sacrifice” and this still rings true for me. Remember when Rick insists that Ilsa leave him forever, he gently places his hand under her chin and raises it so their eyes meet, and he says, “Here’s looking at you, kid.” Still gets me!
So what is our post-modern take on Valentine – which has become our trope for “love”? I’ve noticed that there are approximately four types of reactions to Valentine’s Day on social media: (1) lovey-dovey declarations of love from those in relationships, (2) single-and-proud statuses, (3) statuses declaring that food is their one true love, and (4) people who just go about their day like it was any other day.
But February the 14th doesn’t hold exclusive rights as the only date to show someone you care. It’s just a date chosen in honour of St Valentine and became associated with romantic love in the 14th century. It could’ve been any other date or better yet, it doesn’t just have to be one date. Why can’t people show their love for the important people in their lives every day? Or rather, why don’t they? The persons you love should be important enough to you that you would have no problem with show them that you love them every day – whether you want to show your love by just saying ‘I love you’, or by showering them with gifts, it’s your prerogative.
Be spontaneous, show your love every day in all of the little ways that count much, much more than an elaborate show on Valentine’s Day.
And love itself comes in so many, many forms – you could love your mom, your dad, brother, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend and all of the other people in your life. Let the people you care about always know and feel that you care about them. Sure people aren’t perfect, and someone is sure to step on your toes over time. But you don’t need to hold a grudge or put them in the doghouse – remember that you love them.
And I’m not saying you need to go around loving everyone because no matter how many pink sunglasses we wear, we can’t fool ourselves that the world is as rosy as we would like it to be. There are always people who we will find decidedly unlovable, and that’s OK. You don’t need to love everyone and show everyone that you love them – that might be spreading yourself too thin (not to mention you’re also losing the plot of love being special and important).
You at least ought to show the important people in your life, the ones you care deeply about, that you love them because, hey, if you love them that much, that shouldn’t be much of a problem – right?
But OK, even though you should be showing your love every day, it IS a nice gesture to go that extra mile on Valentine’s Day. Chocolates anyone?
