Satiricus wasn’t too big on New Year Resolutions. His wife Caustic said he had the will of a limp noodle. And maybe this was the reason he shied away from making any. So here it was, already deep into the second week of the year, and he was fumfering when grilled on the subject by the fellas at the Back Street Bar.
“Listen fellas, I’ll tell you mine AFTER you tell me yours!” he bluffed to gain some time. But Bungi wouldn’t have any of it.
“Budday! Ev’ry year a de same t’ing!” he grinned, while selecting a piece of fried Banga Mary which was the Cutters du jour. “Yuh friken fuh mek resalushan beca’se yuh guh bruk am right away!”
Before Satiricus could respond, Hari interjected, “No problem, Sato, old friend. Last year I resolved to stop listening to these politicians and their promises. Right after Pee-an-See and KFC gave us Larwah and gave themselves their 50 per cent raise!”
“Yeah… but what’s your resolution THIS year?” Satiricus insisted.
“Same resolution from last year!” grinned Hari. “These fellas continue lying so much into last year – I just tuned them out! Wasn’t hard to keep my resolution – no problem!”
“Me ‘gree wid yuh, Hari,” said Bungi, as he took a swig of his beer. “Dem palitishan like Crismuss blow-blow!”
“But what’s YOUR resolution, Bungi?” insisted Satiricus. “Surely you plan to do something different to improve your life.”
“Well, since yuh leadah Nagga man dem a close down de suga’ estate, me plan fuh bug Cappo fuh brace me fram New Yark!” confessed Bungi. “Me hear de man done buy cyaar in six mont’!”
“So, what’s your resolution, Sato,” asked Hari. “You now know ours.”
“I’m going to quit drinking,” said Satiricus seriously.
“What??!!” exclaimed Bungi and Hari simultaneously, obviously stunned at losing their cash cow.
“But I know I’ll break it by next week!” grinned Satiricus. “If the Government didn’t keep their 20 resolutions, why should I keep my one?”
And the fellas clinked their bottles and drank to that!
