Satiricus was ecstatic. He’d just read the screaming red headlines on the Stabber News front page: “Americans clamping down on piracy here”.
“You know Cappo, I have a lot of relatives in Berbice,” he said to his friend, as they nursed their beer in the Back Street Bar. “And those pirates have really been making their lives miserable.”
Cappo, who’d read the entire article earlier, looked at Satiricus contemplatively. “Suh wha’ yuh t’ink de ‘Merican dem guh do?”
“Cappo!” said Satiricus scornfully. “If the Americans can use their drones to bomb targets 10,000 miles away in Pakistan, what is the problem with Guyana? We only 3000 miles away.”
“But how dem guh know which fishin’ boat fuh bam?” Cappo demanded.
“Cappo, my friend, with the cameras on those drones, they could see if your fly is open!” Satiricus grinned widely as Cappo looked down instinctively. “But I wonder why the Stabber had a sub headline, “TV station was visited earlier this year”? Are the Americans going to use a TV station to guide their missiles more accurately?”
Cappo decided he’d messed with Satiricus enough. “Sato, me fr’en’, dem ‘Mericans na come fuh fight fishamaan pirate. Dem a come fuh fight TV pirate who a t’ief dem program fram sattalite.”
“Really??” was all Satiricus could say, after a long pause. “TV programmes?”
“Yes. Me read de whole article dis marnin’,” Cappo confessed. “De guvnment in big trouble! Especially dem who in charge a de TV stay-shan!”
“What you mean, Cappo,” said Satiricus with some alarm.”It’s everybody in Guyana thiefing and pirating TV programmes. The government just happen to be the biggest.”
“Yes…but yuh know w’en dem tax people na want people fuh cheat pan dem tax, dem does mek example?” Cappo asked. “Dem does charge some big wan, and put he picha in pay-pa! De ‘Merican dem gon mek de guvment TV stay-shan wan example!”
“Geez!” exclaimed Satiricus in shock as he digested the news. “They’ll have to lock up the government man in charge of TV!!!”
“That’s right, Sato, me frien,” said Cappo with a wide smile. “Dem already pick out ‘e silver bracelet and ‘e orange jumpsuit!!”
