A survivor’s story: Mother of 2 opens up about escaping domestic abuse

When Dahlia Victor (a pseudonym used for her protection) moved in with her boyfriend in February 2024, she had no idea that the decision would mark the beginning of an abusive nightmare. Already a mother of two from a previous relationship that had been emotionally and physically abusive, Dahlia believed her new partner was the fresh start she had long hoped for — someone who would be a good influence on her children.
“He was caring, understanding, and respectful. He seemed to do everything right in the relationship. I really believed this was the one,” the 37-year-old shared in an interview with Guyana Times.
However, just weeks after moving in together, subtle signs of controlling behaviour began to emerge. Dahlia’s partner started restricting her contact with her children, friends, and relatives.
“I was convinced to move in with his mother while my kids were sent to live with a relative,” Dahlia explained.
It wasn’t long before the abuse escalated. In March, while staying in her partner’s mother’s home, Dahlia was physically assaulted for the first time.
“His mother couldn’t stop him because she would get abused too. She used to put hot water on my bruises to ease the pain,” Dahlia recalled.
At first, Dahlia contemplated leaving, but each time her partner apologised, promising never to hurt her again, and as such, she stayed. But slowly, the abuse grew worse, and Dahlia found herself living in fear.
Her partner would delete any photos or videos she took of her injuries, erase her contacts, and keep her under constant surveillance.
Dahlia explained that he had convinced her to leave her job and she had no financial freedom.
“He had full control over me. I couldn’t go anywhere without him.”

Despite her desperate pleas to be left alone and her attempts to leave, Dahlia found herself trapped in a cycle of violence.
“I begged him to let me go, to let us separate, but every time he would apologise and promise things would change. It was like living in a prison,” she said.
As the months went on, the emotional toll of the abuse took a devastating turn.
“He threatened to kill me if he couldn’t have me,” Dahlia revealed, her voice heavy with emotion. “I would ask myself, ‘How can someone love me and hurt me at the same time?'”
Dahlia’s pain led her to attempt self-harm as an escape, but that only deepened her suffering. “It didn’t help; I only ended up hurting myself more,” she said.
During this time, Dahlia turned to prayer, desperately asking for guidance and a way out. Her breakthrough came when the police intervened, and she was able to physically escape the relationship.
“But even though I physically left, I still couldn’t truly get away,” Dahlia admitted.
She explained that her partner tracked down her whereabouts and would continue to harass her, playing on her vulnerabilities.
Despite the restraining order against him, her abuser continued to threaten her, making her feel unsafe even in her own home. “He would say the restraining order wouldn’t stop him,” Dahlia explained, noting the fear even kept her from leaving her house.
Her abuser is currently facing charges in court, with a trial pending.
Now, less than a year after escaping, Dahlia is still haunted by the trauma of her experience. She suffers from bouts of depression and struggles to articulate her emotions. “It’s hard to explain what I feel,” she said. “I’m not healed, but I’m learning to live with my fears and pain. I’m on medication, and I’m trying to stay positive.”
Through professional counselling, Dahlia is beginning to heal, but she acknowledges that the road to recovery is long.
Looking back on her journey, Dahlia remains hopeful. “I’ve learned so much about my own self-worth and the importance of trust. I know it will get better.”
Dahlia wants to use her story to speak directly to those still suffering in abusive relationships. “I understand how hard it is to leave. But I encourage anyone in an abusive situation to find the strength and courage to walk away and seek help. You deserve better.”
The 914 hotline is a toll-free number that provide telephone services to victims/survivors of sexual offences and domestic violence and child abuse.