Changing times…

…in sex toy industry
The time-tested adage, “If you can’t beat ‘em, you might as well join ‘em” must’ve played out when the GRA decided to allow sex toys to be imported. Some thought sex toys had been banned. But while we may be “Victorian – with her statue in front of our courts and all that – we ain’t THAT Victorian!! More prosaically, the GRA hadn’t classified them for taxation and was losing revenue since they were still being brought in under the radar!! How else could that MP wave around that dildo in Parliament last year?? Never mind another crass MP promoting its use this year!
When your Eyewitness heard about the move, he wanted to know how much money those plastic dildos could generate?? Surely, they can’t be more expensive than those plastic guns firing blanks that’re selling on our pavements? So – as he does when in doubt nowadays – he googled it!! And boy was he in for a surprise. As the ad for Virginia Slims once boasted, “We’ve come a long way, Baby!!” From dildos – which is just a part of the sexual apparatus – they’ve gone the full nine yards!!  We now have life-sized and fully functional sex robots with textured skins!! So, rather than paraphrasing and getting it wrong, here’s an excerpt from one article.
“Sex robots are here. It’s not just a gimmick of science fiction. Granted, the artificially intelligent sex robots of such films as “Ex Machina” and “AI” are not here yet, but it’s only a matter of time.
Most sex robots now are little more than slightly animated sex dolls. Perhaps the most advanced sex robot that we know of is “Samantha.” A creation of Synthea Amatus, Samantha is designed to be capable of enjoying sex.
“But Samantha is not all about sex. She can also talk about science and philosophy. She can even tell jokes (although hopefully not while you are having sex with her). Consent is even an issue with Samantha. If you are too rough with her or she doesn’t like your behaviours, she is programmed to go into “dummy mode” and completely shut down. Currently, robotic partners can go for prices in excess of US$10,000.
“The question here is not whether or not sex robots are coming (they are) or how they are going to be continually evolving. The question here concerns the psychological and social ramifications that may accompany this brave new sexual world. As with any technology, there is a laundry list of pros and cons to consider.
“I recently asked several married couples how they would feel if they walked in on their spouse having sex with a robot….”
So what’d your reaction be, Dear Reader??

…in news business
There’s the famous quip made by the fella who said he didn’t know he was speaking “prose” all the time!! The point is, we just didn’t know that normal speaking had a name! Well, in case you didn’t realise it, we were just exposed to “Gonzo Journalism” when that young lady from VICE News sandbagged VP Jagdeo. Again, not to be accused of partisanship, your Eyewitness quotes  the staid Wiki,  “Gonzo journalism is a style of journalism that is written without claims of objectivity, often including the reporter as part of the story using a dirty person narrative.
“It involves an approach to accuracy that concerns the reporting of personal experiences and emotions…(and) disregards the strictly-edited product once favoured by newspaper media and strives for a more personal approach; the personality of a piece is as important as the event or actual subject of the piece. Use of sarcasm, humour, exaggeration, and profanity is common.”
So now you know!! Do we have any local Gonzos?

…with drugs
A CANU crew snagged 100 cases of Brazilian beers, 4 cases of whiskey and 1 case of Black-stone – all uncustomed – in a Reg 9 raid. But nothing was lodged.
Jeez!! The stuff had to be tested for authenticity, no?!!