By Rosh Khan
Take a moment to analyse the language you use at work. Do you primarily use words like ‘need’, ‘must’, and ‘can’t’? If so, you may be using reactive language. If you use words like ‘want’, ‘prefer’, and ‘choose’, you are using proactive language.
If we are being reactive, Dr Stephen Covey (author of The 7 Habits of Highly 
Effective People) explains that we often use language that removes a level of personal responsibility. Instead, we see ourselves as the victim with no other options. Over time, and without even realising it, this leads to damaged relationships and loss of credibility.
Let’s look at some examples of reactive language:
“That’s me. That’s just the way I am.”
What You Really Mean: I feel there’s nothing I can do about it.
“I can’t do that. I just don’t have the time.”
What You Really Mean: I believe something external is limiting me.
“If only my boss / spouse / partner was more patient.”
What You Really Mean: I think someone else’s behaviour is holding me back.
The truth is, we have the ability to change situations by merely changing our approach with the usage of proactive language.
For example, instead of “I need”, we can use, “I’d like”. Instead of “I must,” we can use “I prefer”. Instead of “I can’t” we can use, “I choose”. Not only is it personally empowering, but it makes a big difference to the listener and their level of response.
Other examples of reactive language include: “There’s nothing I can do.” ;“That’s just the way I am.”; “S/he makes me so mad.”; “They won’t allow that.”; “I have to do that.”; “I can’t.”;
“I must.”; “If only.”
Notice the trend? They’re all responsibility deflectors.
Alternatively, proactive language includes phrases like: “Let’s look at our alternatives.”; “I can choose a different approach.”; “I control my own feelings.”; “I can create an effective presentation.”; “I will choose an appropriate response.”; “I choose.”; “I prefer.”; “I will.”
These are empowering, positive, and results-oriented.
So the next time you are ready to respond to situation, think to yourself: Are the words I’m about to use reactive or proactive? Those words will either help or hinder the long-term effectiveness and growth of your organisation.
Dr Rosh Khan is an international business and marketing consultant and the CEO of FranklinCovey Guyana, the Masterclass Institute, and SocialRank Media – Guyana’s leading digital marketing agency.
