UNICEF
reports that every year hundreds of millions of children are exposed to domestic violence at home, and this has a powerful and profound impact on their lives and expectations for the future. It is one of the most prevalent human rights challenges that exist and it seems to be ever increasing. Violence in the home is not limited by geography, ethnicity, or status; it is a global phenomenon and unfortunately in this part of the world it is rampant.
We are all aware of the magnitude of the numbers of families living in this situation and we are also aware of the realities of the effects on the women or men suffering because of the abuse. We are even forthcoming in acknowledging that it affects the children but have we really considered how deeply and how much lasting damage is caused?
Living day to day with the uncertainty of a violent reaction to a normal occurrence can be exhausting and frightening for a child. Children are susceptible to taking the blame for negative domestic occurrences and it is a victim label that can follow them in their own future relationships.
When you are in the presence of the two people in the world who are supposed to protect you, look after you, provide for you and love you, you expect them to afford each other the similar sentiment – hence a family unit.
Watching the abuse of your mother, sometimes by a man other than your father, can not only break a child’s heart, but also their spirit. It can teach young children acceptance of unhealthy behaviours in a relationship with far-reaching connotations.
Studies around the world have shown that children who are exposed to violence in the home may suffer a range of severe and lasting effects. There is significant risk of harm to the child’s physical, emotional and social development.
Infants and small children experience so much added emotional stress when they are exposed, that it can harm the development of their brains and impair cognitive and sensory growth.
Social development can be damaged in various ways. There can be a loss in ability to feel empathy for others. Children may end up feeling socially isolated and unable to make friends easily due to social discomfort or confusion over what is acceptable. Poor concentration and focus means they are more likely to have difficulty learning so may have trouble with school work and not be able to perform well.
At an early age, a child’s brain is becoming ‘hard-wired’ for later physical and emotional functioning and that development is threatened by the negative experiences they are having in an abusive home. This can lead to personality and behavioural problems that can take the forms of psychosomatic illnesses, depression and suicidal tendencies at any stage of life.
Children from violent homes have been found to exhibit signs of more aggressive behaviour, such as bullying, and are more likely to be involved in fighting and exhibit violent, risky or delinquent behaviour.
Later in life, these children are at greater risk for substance abuse, juvenile pregnancy and criminal behaviour than those raised in homes without violence. They are more likely to be affected by violence as adults – either as victims or perpetrators and so there is a strong likelihood that this will become a continuing cycle of violence for the next generation.
Studies from various countries support findings that rates of abuse are higher among women whose husbands were abused as children or who saw their mothers being abused. They learn early and powerful lessons about the use of violence in interpersonal relationships to dominate others and all too often go on to practice it.
If there is violence within your home, no matter how well you might think you are hiding it from your children, it will be causing them harm; significant harm. Whether you are being violent or allowing someone to be violent towards you, what you are doing is subjecting your children to a sequence of events that they do not have the capacity to understand. They cannot comprehend what has diminished someone’s senses enough to negate their responsibilities as a parent, whether it is alcohol, substance misuse of misguided judgement.
The damage may not be apparent right now but be sure there will be damage and it can affect your children in so many different areas and for the rest of their lives.
