How
many times do we sit down and read about the terrible effects absent fathers have on their children and families? Despite this being a harsh reality, this Father’s Day I think it’s about time we look at the other side of the coin and reflect on all those dads that work hard to be good fathers.
Today let’s think about the young man, terrified about the prospect of becoming a father, but excited at the new feelings springing up inside him and determined to go the extra mile to ensure his child is secure when they come into the world. The one who works two jobs, one of which tests his patience to the limit, but during which time he keeps calm and thinks of earning enough money to send his child to school.
The man who holds on to the back of the bike as he steadies his cautious child while they wobble their way to learning to ride. Who then has to force himself to stand still when the child falls so they learn how to pick themselves up; a lesson he knows is important in life.
For today, let’s picture the father standing beside his child’s bed as they sleep, feeling sad that they didn’t make it home in time to kiss them goodnight but was out working late to make a little extra for a special birthday treat or to take them on a day trip.
The man who has to watch his daughter fall in love and have her heart broken or see his son be duped by a trickster, then though happy to see his children grow into independent young adults, has to give up the protective hand that he used to shield them as they go out into the big wide world. The broad shoulder still waits to be leant upon when necessary, cried upon when needed and embraced in happiness once lives are perused away from home.
He commands respect not through fear but from love. His discipline comes from love and best wishes so it is accepted with understanding. He doesn’t judge and doesn’t pretend to be without fault and so as a child grows and understands, they are not betrayed by hypocrisy. Admiration and trust ensues.
Without realising the enormity of his actions, he evokes feelings of love, safety, security and wellbeing; feelings that only a father can provide in such a way. The type of feeling that lets a child know with one phone call he will be there. No matter what the need, he will find a way to provide. No matter what the problem he will support you through it. No matter what mistake you have made, he will understand. Always.
Irrespective of how old we become, when a father has loved, protected, guided and supported you and continues to do so long after his responsibilities have passed, a part of you always feel safe, no matter how difficult life may become and no matter how scared we may be. He really is the rock in a storm and the harbour to return home to.
The pressures of breadwinner, protector and adviser can be a heavy burden. Those of you who have embraced fatherhood and those of you who will do so in the future; those of you who will raise fathers and those of you who will marry them, remember the power of that position. Know the great gifts a father can give to his children with words of wisdom, comfort, critical reprimand, guidance and love. Know the ability to offer strength and softness in the same breath. The ties you have with your children should last your lifetime, the legacy you leave way beyond that of your grandchildren and great children.
A heartfelt thank you and an enormous amount of love go out to so many fathers today.
Happy Father’s Day.
