Getting the help we need

By Ryhaan Shah
As we grow older, many of us will need help even to live with some measure of independence. We may not be able to lift, carry, or move around as we used to, but we may also fear that asking for help might signal an admission of weakness or a need that will lead to a loss of our independence especially if we have been self-sufficient and able to take care of ourself until now.
We would also not want our family to see us as a burden, so we might well try to carry on past what we are able to do, and this would not be good for our health and well-being especially if we are feeling depressed, anxious, or stressed.
Because there is some stigma attached to mental health concerns, this could prevent us from confiding even to close relatives or seeking professional help.
When we avoid asking for help, the consequences can be serious. Physical health can deteriorate if medical appointments are missed, medications are mismanaged, or mobility issues go unaddressed. Social isolation, which is already a significant risk for some of us can worsen, leading to loneliness, depression, and even mental and cognitive decline.
Moreover, unreported or unaddressed problems such as falls, nutritional deficiencies, or abuse can have life-threatening consequences if we do not say something to someone we trust. If they are unaware of what is happening to us, this could lead to a real health crisis, and any delayed intervention can result in longer hospital stays, loss of independence, or even premature death.
It is important that we realise the risk involved if we do not ask for help or delay in getting the help we need. Family members and caregivers should also be careful when offering help by making sure you focus on preserving our dignity and independence rather than immediately pointing to any negatives and limitations involved.
Resistance to accepting help usually comes from fear of losing control, our privacy, our ability to live in our own home, or feeling like a burden.
If family members and caregivers are checking in regularly to see how we are managing both physically and mentally, this does create an environment of trust where we would feel safe about expressing our need for some help without feeling that we are being bothersome or burdensome.
Education in this area is essential for everyone involved. If we and our family know what services are available to us such as community centres, religious organisations, and healthcare services these can play a significant role in our awareness and reduce any feeling of stigma in asking for help.
Perhaps most importantly, society as a whole must work to reframe the act of asking for help as a sign of strength and self-advocacy, not weakness. Reframing how we look at giving assistance can completely transform elder care from a source of anxiety into an empowering, positive experience.

For many of us, the kind of support we most often need is help with daily living activities such as housekeeping, or with our grooming and dressing. We might need some help getting around the house or getting into a wheelchair, or have someone do the shopping, cook a meal, or help with the laundry.
Since requesting assistance is rooted in the fear of losing independence or becoming a burden, the narrative should be changed so that asking for and accepting help are viewed as proactive ways to maintaining control over our lives and even to remaining independent.
Aging is an inevitable part of life, but suffering in silence is not. By encouraging us to ask for help and by providing the right structures to support us, we may be able to live not just longer, but better. It is the responsibility of everyone involved to listen, to reach out, and to remind our elderly family members that seeking help is not a burden or unwanted, but a pathway to dignity, safety, and life fulfilment.
The global population is aging and societies around the world are faced with the challenge of ensuring that their older citizens not only live longer but also enjoy a high quality of life. One crucial yet often overlooked aspect of our well-being is our ability and willingness to ask for help.
For many of us, seeking assistance whether for physical, emotional, or social needs can be a daunting task fraught with stigma, pride, and fear. However, breaking the silence and encouraging us to ask for help is vital to fostering healthier, safer, and more fulfilling lives.