Helping abusers

Dear Editor,
Even as the Ministry of Social Security is making progress in the easy accessibility of reporting domestic abuse, the abusers don’t seem to care. There is an increasing amount of murder/suicide in domestic violence cases. One would assume that the abuser does not care much for life and living. The abuser seems to be fixated on “if I can’t have you, no one can”, or “is both ah we go die.”
While I applaud the Ministry for wanting to protect victims and alleviate domestic violence, the real solution to this problem is helping the abuser. Yes, helping the abuser! Emphasis should be placed on developing a centre for prevention of abuse. It is worthy to note that most of the time the victims end up dead, and all efforts to stop abuse by empowering victims go in vain. While it is important to set up and establish shelters for abused victims, and equip them with the tools to be independent, we must also consider that not many of these victims actually survive abuse.
The sooner we understand that the abuser is responsible for the abuse, and ultimately is the only person who needs changing, the better off we would be in curbing domestic violence. One victim may be able to get out alive, but the abuser’s next victim may not be so fortunate.
Programmes should be developed and made easily accessible in order to help abusers change. I admit that someone can change only if they want to change. However, increasing awareness and helping abusers realise they can change would save lives. Victims would get to live; abusers would change their ways, and children would grow up with parents.
It is my hope that those in authority who can make a difference would consider all of our options in alleviating domestic violence.

Best Regards,
I Ram