Introducing…the PNC MPs

There’s the acronym LIFO – signifying “Last in, First out”! – that describes why the PNC/APNU has been the first to issue a complete list of MPs they’ll be sending to the 13th Parliament. They ran LAST in the elections and as such don’t have that many seats to fill – a mere 12 to the PPP’s 36 and WIN’s 16 – while their candidate list had to’ve been quite bloated with all the names they’d fielded!! Ahhh… the shame… the shame!!
Aubrey Norton just didn’t announce he won’t be going to Parliament – as your Eyewitness noted yesterday. He later elaborated: “I hope that is an indication that I have no intention of running for the presidency in the future, and so I see the task at this as repairing the party for the future.” While not exactly a reprisal of USA’s General Sherman’s famous demurral of higher office back in 1884 – “If drafted, I will not run; if nominated, I will not accept; if elected, I will not serve” – folks have divined him as saying he won’t EVER be running as a candidate for the Presidency!! Having observed politicians up close for a while now, your Eyewitness is a sceptic. “Never say never” is more like what he’s become used to!!
Anyhow, back to Parliament. Norton did say that Chicken Man – Terrence Campbell – is gonna be the leader of APNU/PNC’s dozen MPs. And immediately your Eyewitness figured out why!! Clearly stung by his defeat at the hands of Sanction Man Azruddin Mohamed – the shame…the shame… – he’s decided to fight fire with fire!! Mohamed has a moniker – Sanction Man – well, so does Campbell – Chicken Man!! Sanction Man has absolutely NO experience in politics – well, so neither does Campbell!! Take that!! Let’s see who can make the most blunders in parliamentary protocols!! And finally, Sanction Man’s a snappy dresser – albeit in off-the-rack designer outfits rather than Paris or London bespoke!! So guess who released a pic of himself decked out in a blazer – but rather gauchely with pants of the same colour!! – Chicken Man, of course!!
The biggest surprise name in the PNC/APNU line-up was that of Black Pudding Man from Buxton, David Hinds!! Was it just because he also has a “call name”? ‘Cause there are so many others who’ve risen to defend the PNC over the last four years. Like, say, Annette Ferguson and Chris Jones, the past APNU/PNC Whip in parliament!! Wouldn’t he have been a PNC anchor in the House?? Makes you wonder if Noron ain’t setting up Chicken Man for failure so the party would turn to him and cry, “Come back!! Come back, Aubrey!!”
Then there’s Sharma Solomon – but not his pal Debrah Kissoon!! Wonder why??

…the First AI Minister
As he awaits Pressie’s announcement of his Cabinet, your Eyewitness notes – in wonder – that last Thursday, Albania became the first country to appoint a government Minister created entirely by artificial intelligence!! Imagine that!! Prime Minister Edi Rama had warned a couple of months ago he was thinking of doing his – but not surprisingly, no one took him seriously!! The virtual Minister, named Diella – meaning “sunbeam” in Albanian – will oversee all public procurement, a sector widely seen as vulnerable to corruption.
Rama described Diella as a “servant of public procurement” designed to make the tendering process fully transparent and “100 per cent incorruptible”. He’s been programmed not to take bribes!! Public procurement has been a persistent weak spot for Albania, with the EU – which Albania desperately wants to join! – repeatedly flagging graft concerns!!
Rama said the gradual transfer of procurement decisions to Diella would eliminate opportunities for bribery and ensure that “every public fund that goes through the tender procedure is 100 per cent legitimate”!!
Maybe Guyana next??

…the Commissioners’ Conundrum
With WIN now leading the Opposition as the largest Opposition party, everyone assumed GECOM’s Opposition Three Stooges would be departing the stage. Not so fast!! It seems there’s no legal provision for removing them save death or retirement!!