“It was his day”: The Ramdhani family missing Gokarn even more at Christmas

By Jemima Holmes

“We miss him every day, nothing is more than the other, personally and in the sport,” a teary-eyed Emelia Ramdhani said.
Glancing up at the many photos that adorn the walls of their home, her voice remained low and shaky, as the weight of realisation hindered her ability to speak. The topic is a most difficult one and the reaction was expected; to lose a family member, a soulmate, the father of your children, is an unexplainable loss and Mrs Ramdhani is just now coming to grips with this.
Pillars of strength beside her, were Narayan and Priyanna, who also put on a brave face for the cameras, mere days before the most family-centric holiday across the world, and a mere two months after they lost their father, coach, mentor and friend.

Christmas is always regarded as a time for family, merriment and celebrations but hardly ever, is thought given to those dealing with a loss. For the Ramdhanis, the loss of the late Gokarn is still fresh in their minds and there are constant reminders of his impact, in every aspect of their lives.
“It’s been difficult, not easy for sure. I mean, he carried our whole life, he was mommy’s best friend, our father and an extraordinary father, so we definitely miss him and it’s not the same,” Priyanna said.
With a small chuckle, she reminisced on her father’s workload that now seems mammoth to them, as they take the reins.
She explained, “All the badminton stuff, we see all the work he used to do, it’s a lot of work. And now his work has been split between the three of us and it’s still too much and we appreciate that every day. It’s been a difficult time for us but day by day, not much of a choice but to stay strong.”

Narayan added, “All these pictures, he put them up before, he was all about memories. If you were to check his Facebook, it was memories, so, between the three of us we’d like to keep his traditions going”.
And the traditions Gokarn Ramdhani held were many, his striking personality made him many friends, his kindness and commitment earned him the respect of most and his love for a good party made him good company. Especially at Christmas, his family waded through their fond memories of him during the holidays, most of which included a grand celebration, guests and wholesome family time.
“We would have family over, everybody gather and play music and have fun. That was his day, Christmas Day,” Emily related to Guyana Times.
For 19-year-old Priyanna, this will be the first Christmas spent without her father and it is the little things, which may seem like a regular old practice to some, that she will miss the most.

“This is my first Christmas without him. Narayan was in Canada for a few Christmases, this is mommy’s first without him as well and we’re definitely going to miss that because every year when it’s Christmas season, we would set up the tree together, play Christmas music, put on lights,” the young badminton player explained.

Her elder brother chimed in about their plans to spend Christmas with other family, saying, “It’s going to be different but we’re just going to do what he would want us to do. So, have a good time, eat food and just be around family”.
The biggest change that the Ramdhanis will experience this Christmas, is not hosting the holiday festivities at their East Bank Demerara home. This event was usually Gokarn’s crowning moment, as he played both hospitable host and grill master.
“Every Christmas we would be the family to host. He would barbeque, mom would cook. He would barbeque every single year, he loved to barbeque, that was one of his favourite things. Narayan’s birthday, his birthday, that was one of his traditions we’ll miss,” Priyanna reminisced, when asked about her father’s Christmas traditions.
“We’re going to miss him being around, he was always the life of the party. Him and his larger-than-life personality, we’re going to miss that. He brought the party wherever he was,” Emelia added to the sentiments.
Narayan’s reality is a bit different, since he has spent the holidays in Canada owing to badminton duties. As such, his personal challenge is on the court.
“For me, being in Canada for most Christmas, I think badminton is going to miss him more. Because he was like my manager, every tournament, I never had to do anything, I just had to go play, so that’s going to be different,” the elder Ramdhani sibling explained.
Throughout this devastating journey, there has been insurmountable support for the family, both from the Badminton fraternity and outside of it.
Mrs Ramhani touched on this, noting that their support system has been even more encouraging during this season.
She disclosed, “My brother-in-law, his brother here, everybody. People reached out all the time and they still do. Like the kids, they’re saying because it’s Christmas and they know this will be the first Christmas without him, so, everybody is reaching out.”
When probed about how she has navigated the past two months, especially with having to remain strong for her children, she related to this publication that is in fact the opposite.
“The two of them are keeping me going. I don’t have a moment to slip up, they always keep me in line. I always tell everybody, they are keeping me strong, it’s not the opposite way. They’re the ones who are carrying me really,” Emelia said, holding back a well of tears.
Even though the Ramdhani family will join their other relatives for the festivities of the season, it is impossible to forget Gokarn and the liveliness he brought to their Christmases; after all, “That was his day, Christmas Day”.