Christmas may officially be two days away – but here in our dear ole Mudland, Christmas has been here since businesses followed custom and paid their workers by the 15th of the month – one week ago!! Have you noticed how Georgetown’s once again crowded beyond bursting point?? That’s them shoppers blowing their early pay and any bonus that might’ve come their way!! Pressie had intended for every family in the land collect $200,000 before Christmas -but sadly all sorts of obstacles were strewn in his way. And now it looks like only those in the hinterland – along with Public Servants and pensioners on the Coast – will have the $100,000 finally agreed upon for every Guyanese adult to get in their hand to spend.
Your Eyewitness wondered why only Public Servants and pensioners hit the jackpot before Christmas – and was told it’s because they move at the same pace when they gotta do something!! Anyhow, Christmas does come early in Guyana and we enjoy it lustier than elsewhere. In your Eyewitness’ household, the Christmas Black cakes were “set” months ago and it was the job of yours truly to “season” them periodically with the spirits of the season!! He, of course, was duty bound to ensure that the said spirits were of the requisite proof!!
So from last week, he’s been distributing Black Cakes from his Missus’ list and he must confess that he’s been made welcome as if he were Santa Claus himself!! He had to contain himself from belting out the old geezer’s trademark” ho ho ho’s” – even though there aren’t any chimneys for him to slide down!!! There’s also the ginger beer that had been set – even though your Eyewitness thinks that sadly, this is a dying tradition!!
But we have some new traditions being created. For one, there’s the “office social” that’s now so de rigueur that a boss would be a veritable Scrooge if he didn’t spring for one!! This’s now being expanded exponentially by the burgeoning gaggle of trade associations and Chambers of Commerce holding cocktail parties so their members can expand their networks!! But nothing can beat the good, ole Guyanese “sport” that started back in the day in the rum shops after Christmas. Today, rum shops have become “bars” – from which no one is barred!!
Now some may think your Eyewitness is overstressing the imbibing of the “spirits”. But he’s only tellin’ it like it is!! It goes back to our history – when during slavery and indentureship, Christmas was one of the few guaranteed holidays. And liquor was handed out “to lift the spirits”!!
The tradition of not working on Boxing Day, was because of all the accidents caused by those who hadn’t overcome their hangover!!
…for Mad Maduro
Mad Maduro never gives up…does he?? He reminds your Eyewitness of the story of the elephant and who came across the camper in his tent in the jungle. The elephant tells the camper it’s raining and could he allow him to put his trunk into the tent. The kind camper agrees. And then elephant asks for his head to be in…and so on. Before long, the camper is out in the rain and the elephant is snug as a bug in a rug.
Venezuela invaded and occupied our half of Ankoko Island back in 1966 – just after we got independence and they’d signed the Geneva Agreement. We complained to the international community but – nothing! Fast forward to last year and Mad Maduro held a referendum to annex Essequibo, then we signed the Argyle Agreement for peace!! He then passed a law affirming the annexation and builds a bridge to Ankoko with a military airstrip.
Now he just declared the Bridge open!! We in de Ankoko rain!!
…for northern visitors
Your Eyewitness saw a pic of a Guyanese Santa Claus, Mrs Claus and a helper greeting travelers arriving at CJIA. Now these planes are arriving from the north. Shouldn’t THEY be bringing in Santa and his posse?
