Your Eyewitness considers the days following a Budget presentation as akin to the proverbial calm before the storm. Not the actual Budget presentation, mind you – that’s sooo calm as to be soporific – as your Eyewitness can attest from the number of MPs he saw deploying all sortsa subterfuges not to appear to be falling asleep!! Toothpicks keeping eyelids open??!! No – this calm will be the massing of the Opposition troops to gird up their loins to repel the charge of the PPP -armed as they are, with money in the coffers never seen in the history of our country. Oil has at last created what one (old) wag dubbed in a paroxysm of creative death – Oildorado!!
Now, your Eyewitness ain’t gonna get into no specifics, but his first question is: how long the Opposition gonna get to complete their loin-girding! Usually, it’s a week to do their research and prepare their speeches, and decide who’s gonna play the bad cop and who the good cop!! But with this being an elections’ year, your Eyewitness strongly suspects there ain’t gonna be too many good cops!! Save the couple who’ve already signalled they’re making goo-goo eyes at the PPP!! And, as has been the case with one who’s already taken holy vows – even though not an MP – we’re assured that no “inducement” is being offered!! Just the thrill of donning that hot red T-Shirt in public, eh?!!
But the Speaker has signalled that since the Parliamentary Rules allow him to allow a break of “two working days”, there’s a possibility that our loyal Opposition might have to file into the not-so-hallowed halls of the Convention Center to start their performances on Wednesday!! One high ranking PNC MP has already indicated that two days ain’t enough – especially for the “consultations” they gotta arrange!! They’re democratic, innit? This, he charged, “clearly shows that the PPP’s interest lies in control and domination to push through their agenda with their one-seat majority”!! But if push comes to shove, the Opposition’s gonna be there!
Now, really!! What new initiative could the PPP possibly introduce for which the Opposition shouldn’t be prepared to counter?? On the “sharing out the goodies” front – which is always de rigueur before elections!- they’ve already released numbers that scream,“Whatever you can give away we can give away better, and MORE!!” Of course, the smaller the particular party is, the bigger the offer they’ll make to get noticed. What’s the name of that bunch that wanna give every $1MILLION a pop??
But while it’ll make for good theatre – your Eyewitness already has his popcorn ready!! – we know the PPP’s got this one locked up, don’t we??
Gotta balance giveaways with investment for the future!!
…on our numbers
We’re one of those rare developing countries on Planet Earth where the population hasn’t grown in decades. Normally, this phenomenon affects the rich countries, where the married – or unmarried! – couples don’t make the requisite two children to replace themselves on the population sweepstakes!! In our case, however, we’ve achieved that parlous state through our people abandoning our fair Mudland for climes up north!!
Anyhow, we completed a census two years ago, and one Opposition party’s questioning why the numbers ain’t out yet!! They suspect PPP hanky-panky for elections rigging. Soon they’ll blame the PPP for sunspots!! The first census was the English Domesday Book of 1086, compiled for tax purposes. The name’s from old English -after God’s final Day of Judgement – when every soul would be assessed, and against which there could be no appeal.
Guess the Opposition fears the PPP’s win gonna be so comprehensive that there will be no coming back for them!! Ever.
But we need an (effective and responsible) Opposition, don’t we??
…on meta goals
Back in his first term, the Modi Govt. offered a slogan for its mission: Reform, Perform and Transform. Pointing out that nothing’s gonna happen until the “perform” in the centre holds, everything falls apart – they’re succeeding!!
