Beautiful 23-year-old Delaney Farrel overdosed from heroin and died recently; but she’s left behind a heart-wrenching poem that resounds in the hearts of many who are afflicted with the desperate need for their ‘fix’ of choice, and their desperate families. The poem, found by her mother in a diary she left behind, is evocative of the struggles of every addict. In her moments of lucidity she wrote:
“Funny, I don’t remember no good dope days. I remember walking for miles in a dope fiend haze. I remember sleeping in houses that had no electric. I remember being called a junkie, but I couldn’t accept it. I remember hanging out in abandos that were empty and dark. I remember shooting up in the bathroom and falling out at the park. I remember nodding out in front of my sisters kid. I remember not remembering half of the things that I did. I remember the dope man’s time frame, just ten more minutes. I remember those days being so sick that I just wanted to end it. I remember the birthdays and holiday celebrations. All the things I missed during my incarceration. I remember overdosing on my bedroom floor. I remember my sisters cry and my dad having to break down the door. I remember the look on his face when I opened my eyes, thinking today was the day that his baby had died. I remember blaming myself when my mom decided to leave. I remember the guilt I felt in my chest making it hard to breathe. I remember caring so much but not knowing how to show it… and I know to this day that she probably don’t even know it. I remember feeling like I lost all hope. I remember giving up my body for the next bag of dope. I remember only causing pain, destruction and harm. I remember the track marks the needles left on my arm. I remember watching the slow break up of my home. I remember thinking my family would be better off if I just left them alone. I remember looking in the mirror at my sickly completion. I remember not recognizing myself in my own Damn reflection. I remember constantly obsessing over my next score but what I remember most is getting down on my knees and asking God to save me cuz I don’t want to do this no more!!!”
Delaney’s parents explained that they tried everything to help their daughter recover and be free from the addiction — from rehabilitation centers to therapy — but that nothing worked.
Almost every day headlines are screaming out instances of abuse in various ways, including violent episodes leading to murder, with all its attendant consequences and in one instance the media headlines read: “Teen dies after being struck to head by father”.
There is seemingly no end in sight for these tragic occurrences, which are resultant upon emotional reactions to daily stresses; but most often the violent episodes are exacerbated by some form of substance abuse. It is unlikely that these incidents occur as one-off episodes; but rather an isolated event may trigger off a fracas generated from cumulative stresses combining many factors that leads to tragedy.
It is hardly likely that under normal circumstances an argument between a father and son can lead to murder, and the victims of every tragic event are family members who suffer the consequences, sometimes burdening themselves with guilt because most often a simple family dispute eventuates into the melee that precipitated such a tragic eventuality.
The violent episodes that have led to murder have always devastated lives across the spectrum of relationships, yet these occurrences seem to be escalating in societies across the globe.
When passions have cooled and the consequences of violent reactions to situations impact on the consciousness of perpetrators, the reality of the suffering they have caused to loved ones, making them also victims, may be a harsher punishment than whatever punitive measures the law may impose on them.
As aforementioned, oftentimes these disturbances that eventuate into murderous melees are caused by impaired senses due to over-the-limit consumption of alcohol, or usage of illicit and addictive drugs; or even as a consequence of uncontrollable anger due to a multiplicity of personal and societal stressors, yet authorities only act after the fact, instead of providing facilitating mechanisms to provide assistance of substance abusers and their families.
