There
are many people who unfortunately seem to thrive on thinking the worst, seeing the bad in situations and people, then waiting for the awful outcomes they “know” are coming. What thoughts go through their minds as they lay in bed at night or during quiet thinking time are probably not any that fill them with contentment. This type of thinking is unlikely to breed any positivity for the person themselves or those around them.
There are other people who unconsciously or unwittingly find themselves always worrying about the worst that can happen, who find it hard to see the bright side of any situation, cannot seem to distance themselves from bad environments and feel powerless to change the negativity that appears to surround them. They do not revel in disappointment, but they expect it and accept it as the norm.
Either of these ways of thinking can be altered. People often do seek help in an effort to change, but in a day and age where we are bombarded by self-help strategies and books claiming to ‘fix your life in seven days’, websites offering a few miraculous steps to ‘thinking your way to a better future’, or other such instant implausible claims, you can be forgiven for being sceptical when you hear the words “positive thinking” and doubtful about how effective a thinking model can actually be.
The thing is, if a person seriously wants to evoke a positive change, positive thinking when utilised correctly has some amazing short- and long-term benefits. It is certainly true that it leads to noticing and creating opportunities, which in turn allows those to be made use of, culminating in more positive outcomes. Likewise, being negative focuses the mind on the bad events and reinforces irrational beliefs ending in more negative outcomes.So yes, the old adage of positivity breeding positivity and negativity breeding negativity has more than an underlying grain of truth running through.
One of the major reasons positive thinking fails to be of any genuine help or change is when people use it as a form of suppressing deeper negative beliefs. Pretending to be happy and jubilant on the outside while feeling pain or negativity on the inside is merely suppression and resolves very little. The idea behind positive thinking does not negate the reality and experiences that we have which are negative. It allows us to accept them, but then to find a different way of thinking about things, a more positive thought process that directs us to a better outcome.
It is useful to remember that feelings, fears, and emotions all pass with time, especially if we refuse to dwell on them unnecessarily. Worrying about being worried, for example, only serves to maintain the state of worry. Accepting the worry, deciding on an appropriate time to resolve the issue when it can be looked at objectively, then letting it go for now until the more appropriate time, dissipates the worry.
Getting into the right mindset and away from woeful lamenting, avoiding idealistic wishes and being proactive with thoughts are key. Instead of the negative thought “I will never be successful”, and the unrealistic positive thought “All I have to do is think about being successful and it will come”, try thinking about the kind of success you want, a realistic way to get there and work towards achieving it with belief in yourself. A positive thought alone cannot bring success, but a realistic thought followed up by positive action can lead to real positive outcomes.
If we adopt this attitude and can maintain this outlook, we can end up having an encouraging effect on those around us. It can act as a powerful model for others when they experience the refreshing approach, especially for the younger generations.
Positive thinking for the future of what seems to be a greatly unmotivated youth population is vital. We do see stories of young people going out there and achieving great things despite the obstacles they face. Many times, it is a positive attitude and a belief in themselves that sets them apart and gives them the impetus to succeed. If we can foster this attitude in more of our children through coaching, teaching and parenting, we can help to support the next generation of happier, healthier, more effective people.
