Pressie had just barely announced the elections date – Sept 1, in case you were under a rock since the dawning of Independence Day 2025 – and all sorts of effects rippled forth. There was the stunned dropping of jaws in the opposition camp caught off guard – and with their pants down. It wasn’t a pretty sight!! These are grown-ass men and women who’d been dithering around for over three years and couldn’t decide how to get it on to face the PPP!!
But his bombshell also sussed out one of the fly-by-night presidential wannabes who sprout up like jumbie umbrellas around general elections. But sadly, like mushrooms in general that gotta be kept in the dark and fed on shit, these attention seekers serve as entertainment for the masses more than anything else!! You know they ain’t going nowhere – they know they ain’t going nowhere – but the fun is watching them collapse ignominiously and disappear forever.
Your Eyewitness remembers when free and fair elections returned to Guyana in 1992 and and about TWENTY jumbie umbrellas sprouted around the two old standbyes – the PPP and PNC!! One was headed by a fast talker by the name of Lindley Geborde – who persuaded a whole lotta people that he was a multi-millionaire from America . His tag line was “The Eagle has landed”!! Implying – wink, wink – he’d solve all our problems dropping Yankee Dollar bills from planes!! At the elections, his “Union of Guyanese International” got 134 votes!! And have you heard about him??
Well, in another one-man show, a fella by the name of Azruddin Mohamed announced he was gonna contest the elections – after playing “hide and seek” and “hold me, loose me” for a year. “The Kiskadee has landed”!! But Azaruddin didn’t have to pretend he has US dollars – he does. The problem is how’d he get it. In the UNEDITED words of the US Treasury Department:
“Azruddin and Mohamed’s Enterprise evaded Guyana’s tax on gold exports and defrauded the Guyanese government of tax revenues by under¬declaring their gold exports to Guyanese authorities. Between 2019 and 2023, Mohamed’s Enterprise omitted more than 10 thousand kilograms of gold from import and export declarations and avoided paying more than US$50 million in duty taxes to the Government of Guyana.
“To conceal their illegal activity and operate with impunity, Azruddin and Mohamed’s Enterprise have engaged in extensive bribery schemes involving government officials in Guyana. This includes providing direct and recurring bribery payments to Guyanese government officials to ensure favorable treatment in criminal or civil matters that would otherwise suggest their involvement in illegal criminal activity. In return, corrupt officials receive cash and gifts for incidents that are overlooked.”
Can the Kiskadee top the Eagle and get more than 134 votes??
…and Mad Maduro
One of the ways you can tell when someone is completely nuts is they live in a world of make believe – they talk to people no one else can see; they read books no one can see – and hold elections where nobody votes!! Mad Maduro announced that one of his ex-Admiral loyalists in the has just won the governorship of Guayana Essequiba – the make believe name for our Essequibo!! He also announced 21,000 voters had been registered – all of them imaginary since none were from Essequibo and the ex-Admiral had won 4700 – 23 imaginary percentage!!
Your Eyewitness predicts this imaginary governor – since he wouldn’t be governing anything physical – like his creator Mad Maduro – will now be issuing all sorts of imaginary edicts and proclamations about his imaginary state!! All of this would really be funny excepting for the fact that Mad Maduro and the bunch of nuts around him have some real weapons.
And even madmen’s real guns kill!
…exploiting Adrianna
A poor, lovely child drowned. And now because of some far-out conspiracy theory by her relatives, her remains are being used in a “forensic pathologist” shopping expedition that evidently will go on until they get the answer they want.
