THE PRIVILEGE OF CARING

By Ryhaan Shah

I have been writing thus far about diet, exercise, and keeping mentally fit in order that we may stay as healthy as possible as we age. But there are many who are dealing with chronic illnesses that come with ageing and have need of much more courage, resilience and hopefulness since they are likely to be in much pain, discomfort and distress.
The conditions that often come with age range from hearing loss and loss of sight, stroke, heart disease, arthritis, joint damage, especially of the knees, cancer, and illnesses like Alzheimer’s and dementia. And some could be dealing with more than one condition.
My father had knee replacement surgery when he was 80. He had cataracts removed at around the same age. He lost sight in his left eye due to wet AMD (age-related macular degeneration) in his mid-90s and was receiving treatment to save the sight in his right eye. In his final years he had laser surgery for a very enlarged prostate. He received his medical treatments right here in Guyana, except for his prostate surgery, which was done in Trinidad.
I mention this availability of medical treatment locally to emphasise that there is expert care right here. But access through private hospitals can be expensive even with NIS support, so there needs to be continued improvement in the public health system to ensure the best possible care for everyone.
Coping with pain and illness as we age is not easy. There needs to be the will to live, to not surrender, just as Welsh poet Dylan Thomas wrote, “Rage, rage, against the dying of the light.”
Research actually shows that a negative mindset tenses the body, which limits blood flow, which can actually increase chronic pain. Thinking positively can be difficult in these circumstances, and it is often best to accept the limitations of severe illness and find practical ways of circumventing any negative impact, if possible.
My father liked to read the newspaper every day, and when his eyesight started to fail, he got me to buy him a magnifying glass. While accepting his reality, he found a way of dealing with it.
For those dealing with severe physical and mental illnesses, it is often the family that has to adopt a caring and positive attitude. None of us want to be a burden to our family, and here is where much distress adds to an already painful situation.
While there is the option of retirement homes, many of our elderly are cared for at home. But gone are the days of the extended family home where both the grandparents and the newborn are simply part of the household and are cared for by the many close relatives on hand.
While migration and a move to nuclear family units have changed this dynamic, many of us still have the option of remaining at home during our senior years.
Caring for the elderly at home is not just making sure that we eat well, take our medications, and get some exercise: it can also mean accompanying us to doctors’ appointments, keeping watch on our changing condition, and listening to us and making sure our needs are understand.
Accompanying elderly relatives to doctors’ clinics takes time away from work for many and can be costly. It’s the transportation cost plus the price of medications and any special diet that may be required. Adjustments may have to be made at home to make sure an elderly parent or grandparent can move about safely, and there could be a need to accommodate a walker or wheelchair.
While caring for the elderly can be physically and emotionally draining at times, many persist and insist because they want their parents or grandparents to have the best possible care.
There are many bright quotes to lift the spirit and give hope in these situations, but they can sound both trite and hollow in the face of the daily routines that have to be undertaken to relieve the stress, pain and discomfort of a loved one faced with a chronic illness.
It’s a matter of love and respect and an acknowledgement of the years they spent in bringing you up and providing you with the best possible care and the best opportunities to help you succeed.
A supportive environment can make all the difference, and many view it as a privilege to provide care and comfort for an elderly parent. It’s the time more than ever to return the unconditional love and support you received while growing up.