The Unorthodox Heartbreak Coach: “A few heartbreaks I had to learn to heal from alone”

By Shane Marks

Life is full of unexpected twists and turns that sometimes – most times – leave us wounded – not only physically, but also emotionally. It’s the emotional wounds that tend to take a while to heal, and sometimes they don’t heal at all.
Forty-two-year-old Annalisa Bahadur has had her fair share of wounds, or heartbreaks, in her lifetime. She has dealt with it, learnt from it, grown from it, and taught herself how to heal through her many academic advancements and spiritual healing. She has dedicated her time to helping others discover meaningful healing breakthroughs by showing them her unorthodox ways of healing a heartbreak. She is the Unorthodox Heartbreak Coach.
Born in New Amsterdam, Berbice, Annalisa, unfortunately, had to learn at a very early age how to heal herself from heartbreak. “They say teach what you know, and unfortunately, healing from heartbreak is something I had to learn early,” she told <<<Guyana Times>>> in a recent interview.
Since childhood, her life felt like the peak of a never-ending hurricane with a clear intent of derailing what was rightfully hers, a peaceful childhood.
She moved around a lot as a child, always constantly having to adapt to a new environment – a difficult experience for any child. She wrote that she was sexually molested when she was a child, and later raped when she was a teenager. Things didn’t get better from there, unfortunately.
“I was sexually molested as a child, raped in my teenage years. Moved around a lot. My best friend was murdered when we were 8, mom died when I was 13, and she was 39, [and] grandma died after,” she explained.
The hurricane stuck around in her adulthood. She was in an abusive relationship that bore three children. She got fired from her job and was bullied “to name a few heartbreaks I had to learn to heal from alone.”
Annalisa’s life seemed to slowly take flight after she left Guyana for India when she was twenty-six years old. There, she worked as a reporter – after working with the National Communications Network (NCN) as a journalist – and later landed a job as an editor for a magazine.

But she is most proud of going back to school to get her Bachelor of Science degree in psychology, later becoming a certified life and health coach with a private practice in Unorthodox Heartbreak Coaching in Manhattan, New York.
“In India, I discovered Buddhism and began meditating. Many of my Buddhist practices I bring into my teachings. Three years after living there, I moved to New York, where I got my life and health coaching certificate and started my practice. I specialise in helping people heal from childhood trauma which affects every decision they make as adults. Those decisions can lead to their success of the stress that leads to their emotional, mental and physical breakdown,” she recalled.
Owing to the many heartbreaks in her life, she has made many strides in creating and shaping programmes that promote wellness, healing, and spirituality for the people having a hard time healing.
“I use my knowledge in psychology and coach training to help people heal from childhood trauma. My practice also teaches people how to use adversities to be more confident at work, build better interpersonal relationships, and reduce the stress that leads to mental fatigue, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, and suicide.”
In honour of her mother, Annalisa founded the June Nariman Pay It Forward Project which seeks to provide pro-bono coaching to two clients every six months.
“I have set up the June Nariman Pay It Forward Project in honour of mom, who is the inspiration behind this, as her death at age 39 created a ripple effect in my life’s journey that led me to do what I do now. The project takes in two new pro-bono clients every six months.”
The mental health advocate has also founded a day specifically dedicated to raising awareness of how important it is to heal one’s heart. According to the Heartbreak Coach, it will be a day of introspection and self-love “in the sense of going deep within oneself and asking life-changing questions.” This special day will officially kick off on February 28, 2023.
Not stopping there, Annalisa will soon be introducing a non-governmental organisation (NGO), specifically intended to provide coaching to Guyanese men here in Guyana. This unnamed NGO will be an extension of her Manhattan-based private practice.
“I am working on establishing an NGO in Guyana to help men, especially, manage stresses in expectations of how they show up at work and how they manage their feelings as “the man”. I see little attention being given to their emotional well-being, which could be one of the factors attributing to lower self-esteem posing as tough exteriors and exhibiting itself in defensive and explosive outbursts at work and in personal relationships. I should say that most of my clients are men.”
The NGO will also focus on helping foreigners transition from their culture into Guyana as that drastic move often affects a person or family unit emotionally and mentally.
Annalisa said that many people think of heartbreak as breakups only, an affair of romantic relation, but, in actuality, heartbreak happens in any situation where we feel inadequate or misunderstood, undervalued, and unworthy when we are heartbroken.
“It happens when we lose a job, move from place to place, and can’t communicate effectively with our peers, co-workers, family, and partners. The effects of heartbreak can lead to loss of confidence, stress, chronic mental and physical illnesses, and loss of purpose and hope.”
Over three decades, she has come to the conclusion that there isn’t a method or rule guaranteed to work for everyone. “We have to learn how your external world influences your inner world,” she said, “and examine how that internal reaction causes you to act. It has to make enough sense to you on an emotional and logical scale to create a profound change in perspective, which is what my unorthodox coaching technique does.”
Annalisa founded her practice in 2015 but started teaching in her niche in 2018.
With her extensive years of experience, she said that people think of trauma as only emotional responses to terrible events like accidents, rape, or natural disasters, but that’s not the case. Loss, witness to a crime, childbirth, suicide attempts, having a relative in prison, bullying at home or the workplace, emotional neglect and attachment trauma, abandonment, verbal abuse, and overly strict upbringing (religious in some cases) can all create trauma.
“Every traumatic event shapes a person’s thoughts, and their decisions can lead to their success or the stress that leads to their emotional, mental and physical breakdown,” she said.
She said that many persons don’t recognise how important the type of service she offers is because “we don’t stop to see that our patterns repeat themselves in a vicious and painful cycle”.
Dishing out some advice, Annalisa said that people struggle to do what is right against what they actually want to do which in turn breaks us down mentally and emotionally.
“Our relationships break down, and we tell ourselves we are okay because we get distracted by partying, gambling, and jumping into another relationship. Two things happen when we do this. We resign to what life gives us and hide in distractions, or we convince ourselves that we are okay because we can show up and hang out with our friends. It’s harder to take responsibility and change, so we don’t look at that. Instead, we fool ourselves into thinking we are “tough,” which only builds our ego and makes us unapproachable for effective dialogues, which leads to similar issues in the near future.”
The Heartbreak Coach spoke passionately about teaching people how to lead successful lives despite their past adversities, the main aim of her practice.
“I have a different perspective on healing and living,” she said, “I debunk rules in healing like – you must do what we were taught or expected to do. What works for one may not work for the other. We feel less confident and hopeless when we fail at doing what others do.”
She said that humans cannot compartmentalise their emotions. When one area of us is affected, everything in our lives gets affected – heart, head and hands – body, mind, and what we do.
Even though she is currently working on extending her reach here in Guyana, Annalisa has a podcast, Heart of the Matter, that teaches these techniques. She is also a published author. She is also a member of the Georgetown Women’s Chamber of Commerce.
In parting, Annalisa said, “Mental health awareness might be one of the most pressing issues we’re currently facing. Fighting the stigma and providing support and resources to struggling individuals and their loved ones is crucial to stabilising healthy behaviours, emotions, and thoughts. Unfortunately, there is still a significant stigma attached to anything related to mental health, which is why we need to work to overcome the barriers that keep us from addressing mental health positively and productively.”
Persons seeking advice on healing can visit Annalisa’s website, annalisabahadur.com for a consultation.