We need to stop defending and protecting the perpetrators of domestic violence

Dear Editor,
I wish to bring the above subject to your attention and that of the readers by addressing it in detail below.
Protecting victims of abuse is the pinnacle for their survival and for their stories. For too long, many victims struggle to get their stories to be shared, or their voices heard. This is a result of close relatives and friends around them pushing their issues aside, or trying to cover it up, either to protect a relationship with the victim or abuser, or to keep family matters at bay. These challenges have persisted for a prolonged period of time.
Abuse is abuse regardless of its shape or form, and every victim has the right to tell his/her story. Persons who try to prevent a victim’s story from leaving the walls of its occurrence and trauma should be held accountable, because they are contributing to the extensive years of abuse and pain that many victims of domestic abuse encounter. They are as responsible as the perpetrators themselves for trying to suppress the victims’ hurt and harm.
Here, in Guyana, there are countless women who experience abuse, but cannot speak out due to the advice or counsel provided by relatives and close counterparts not allowing the situation to get too far. Regardless of one’s relationship with the abuser, victims have a fair right to express to relevant authorities the conflicts and domestic disputes that they have been having, especially if they fear that their lives are under threat or are in danger.
No one should have to be in a home, relationship or environment where they suffer day in and day out from extensive assault or harsh treatment. Most of the time, these things are ignored and pushed aside by relatives when a complaint is made, as they are not taken seriously until the situation later escalates to a climax.
It is my opinion that those silencing victims are selfish and self-centred, causing many victims to be the ones that struggle for years with their mental health, depression, etc., and from not receiving the help and guidance they need. This further allows the abusers to escape with their behaviour, and they continuously repeat their actions because they feel that nothing can be done. Thus, persons convincing victims to conceal their matters are key players and instrumental influencers that prevent like issues from being resolved in the way that they should; more so, those that are trying to prevent the abuser from facing legal penalties.
When these situations are brought before the courts, the legal system should consider these people as malefactors who have led to the contribution of abuse for the period of time being adjudicated. These people, while they have not committed the act of abuse themselves, certainly lend a hand and engaged in it indirectly by not revealing, exposing, and calling out the wrongdoings of the perpetrators as they are. There are so many untold stories, in particular of women and children who are struggling at home in the area of domestic violence or some sort of abuse and have not been able to shed a light on their battle. A number of victims can admit that it is a ‘fight’ to get up every day and press through the agony and torment that they face.
It is only right that we stand up for those who are struggling, and be a voice for them when they cannot speak for themselves. One can only sit and think how egocentric another human being can be by watching someone else live through the trauma and not do anything about it.
Whether you are a mother, father, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, grandparent, close relative, or friend, it is only proper and respectable that you call out the wrong when you see it happening in your circle of relationships, and not be about quieting it. We just cannot let these circumstances slip through our fingers anymore. We are losing too many of our women to abuse/abusive partners, and causing our children to live with a lifetime of wounds and sometimes neglect without the guidance and love of their mothers. If you are supportive of an abuser and his/her lifestyle, then, in my contention, you are as much a ‘sub-abuser’, because you are part of the problem.
So, together let’s hold the line for truth and for those who are fighting to survive, irrespective of our relationships with the abuser. The only way that we can remedy these critical social issues is by exposing them in the appropriate manner, so that the necessary solutions can be taken and provided. We fail victims when we disguise their stories and force them to bottle up their tears and fears. We simply cannot do this anymore. It is time that we act and support the victims. We all have a part to play in society. Let’s make it our duty to lend a hand where we can, before it is too late.
Finally, when people go through, or have been through, years of abuse and struggle, they are not looking to be sympathised with, but for a safe space that they can rely on for peace and strength, away from the pain and hurt they have experienced or have been battling with.

Sincerely,
Imran Bacchus