Then
we look back on our lives, no matter how young or old, depending on how lucky we are, we will have experienced the beauty of friendship and all that we are will be interlaced with those special people in our lives who we met by chance and stayed with by choice. It is said that no friendship is an accident and that surely is the truth as two people who share the true relationship that is friendship may meet by chance but they build something so strong that it cannot be a coincidence.
Of course, along the way there will have been people we called friends even though we knew they were not, and there will have also been people we thought were friends, then found were not. The kind of friendship that I am referring to is in the true sense of the word.
It is the relationship you can rely on for support, joy and even occasional trouble! But the point is – you can rely on it. True friends never leave your life no matter where they go, how much time passes between conversations, or how long you do not see each other. It does not matter how often you see each other either; the substance is in how much you care and that you are willing to be there when needed.
Friendship, like love, can blossom between two very different people; different ages, lifestyles and backgrounds. The common ground is the mutual affection and regard for each other. Whether built over a lifetime or through an immediate sense of closeness, the benefits of being appreciated for all that you are and all that you are not, of feeling comfortable and able to express yourself without limits and of being supported under any circumstance, can give a person a real feeling of security not always found in other types of relationships.
Being understood without being judged is a rare experience but a friend will offer this naturally. There is no competition between you, only best wishes and genuine goodwill. The honesty with which a friend can tell you something is possible because you both know that the intention is always wanting what’s best for you and so can only be speaking for the right reasons. They can be relied on for advice, whether good or misguided, because your best interests are at the heart of anything they do.
The laughter and love along with the embarrassments shared with a friend create feelings of togetherness and gives the confidence that never having to feel alone brings. Experiencing joys and sorrows with another who understands and feels your emotions forms an almost indestructible bond. The memories created, the lives lived and supported and the stories shared, are the backbone of friendships and they are relived, re-loved and revived in each other’s daily thoughts.
We all need encouragement at some time in our lives and a good friend will always be sure to offer some, along with a large boost to our confidence and self-esteem. By listening and communicating openly with each other, friends make us feel valued and needed. When we reciprocate, we also experience those emotions. The two-way street that is friendship ensures the benefits continually flow both ways.
Having someone pick up on your moods without conversation and knowing just what you need to feel better, whether that is talking or being quiet, being around or left alone, being cheered up or allowed to cry, is how in tune friends are. Often they know what we need even more than we do!
If you are one of the fortunate ones who has experienced true friendship, you probably tell each other often how thankful you are for each other. Still, take time out to let them know again. If you have not been so lucky in finding true friendship, it may still come to pass.
We are relational beings and no matter how many loners there are out there, no matter how many have been stung by a defective friendship in the past and are afraid to let anyone get too close, consider that having a friend to lean on and being that friend to someone else is an important part of our emotional wellbeing. Remember, you have to be a true friend to have the benefit of a true friend.
