Forget
your financial standing and think about your worth as a human being. We all assess ourselves and those around us using our own perceptions and criteria, and the worth we place in ourselves has varying degrees of effect.
Self-esteem relates to how much a person values themselves, the building of which begins in early childhood and can have a huge impact on our happiness. It can change from day to day or from year to year, fluctuating as children grow, being fine-tuned because it is affected by experiences and new perceptions.
Once people reach adulthood, it is harder to make changes to how they see and define themselves, so it helps to be aware of the signs of both healthy and unhealthy self-esteem as early as possible.
Accordingly, there is wisdom in thinking about developing and promoting self-esteem during early childhood. The concept of success following effort and persistence starts early; as children try, fail, try again, fail again, and then finally succeed, they develop ideas about their own capabilities. At the same time, self-concept based on interactions with other people is being created. Thus parental involvement is key to helping the formation of accurate, healthy self-perceptions.
It is important for parents to identify children’s irrational beliefs about themselves, whether they’re about perfection, attractiveness, ability, or anything else. Helping them to set more accurate standards and be more realistic in evaluating themselves will help them have a healthy self-concept. The danger of inaccurate perceptions of self is that they can take root and dangerously become someone’s reality.
There are signs to help parents understand what level of self-esteem a child has. Children with healthy self-esteem tend to enjoy interacting with others and are comfortable in social settings. They are balanced in their enjoyment of group activities and independent pursuits. Knowing their strengths and weaknesses, and accepting them allows them to work toward finding solutions and voice dissatisfaction without disparaging themselves or others when challenges arise.
Children with low self-esteem may not want to try new things and may speak negatively about themselves. They may also exhibit a low tolerance for frustration, giving up easily or waiting for somebody else to take over what they find difficult tasks, in turn stifling their belief that they are capable of solving problems. Consequently, challenges become major sources of anxiety. Overt self-criticism and regular disappointment in themselves follow. If a child sees temporary setbacks as permanent, intolerable conditions they become at risk of stress and mental health problems.
If we promote healthy self-esteem by showing encouragement and enjoyment in a variety of areas rather than focusing on one specific area, for example, educational success, it can avoid a child unable to achieve in one area feeling of little worth. Allowing them to see the value of all aspects of life and interactions gives them more room to find their area of celebration.
Praising a child not only for a job well done, but more significantly for effort teaches them that the way we approach situations and the attitude we employ holds importance and not just the end result; fostering feelings of satisfaction with effort over outcome.
Coupled with the promotion that children are unique, have varying areas of strengths and weakness and different levels of capability, encourages them to understand themselves and accept we all have limitations on our abilities in different areas, thus supporting adversity following any disappointments about their competences.
Children who feel unsafe or are abused at home are at greatest risk for developing poor self-esteem, feelings of helplessness and depression. It is imperative that they understand that the practice of talking to a trusted adult about problems or worries that are too much for a child to handle alone may reduce feelings of inadequacy and allow them to understand they are not always supposed to be in control; it is not weak to ask for help.
Parental love helps boost a child’s self-esteem. Physical affection, and declaration of parental pride, when they put effort towards or try something at which they previously failed, supports perseverance. Honest, unexaggerated praise is crucial to avoid nurturing an inflated sense of self that may result in practices of putting others down or to experiences of feelings of grandeur.
Taking responsibility and pride in who you are as an adult is a sure sign of healthy self-esteem and the greatest gift parents can give to their child. Nurture your own self-esteem and they will have a worthy role model.
