Home Features “Take your responsibility as a father very seriously” – father of 3...
By Utamu Belle
“I think it’s very important for you to take your responsibility as a father very seriously because in the same vein you’re proud to know that a woman gets pregnant for you and you get a child, also be proud to look after that child. Teeth and tongue must bite. Because at the end of the day, your duty as a parent is to look out for your children until the day you die,”Elroy Adolph advises.
Adolph is a former Region 10 (Upper Demerara-Berbice) Vice Chairman. He is also a father of three – two daughters and a son aged 25, 26, and 31. He told the Sunday Times Magazine that he has always tried to instil core values into his children so that they become productive citizens in society.
As he explained, being a father is a position which he holds quite dearly to his heart and he would like to see more fathers in today’s society rising to the occasion and playing integral roles in their children’s lives.
“As a father, for me, you’re always proud. When you look at your children and see them grow up over the years. You try to instil values in them and most of all, it makes you proud when you see them come out to be what you want them to be. They are not perfect, but they at least can live in society and not be a nuisance…I always tell my children, you cannot want to be in society as a nuisance, you must try to be of help to the society…and as fathers, we need to be of good value to our children, that is important as well. Not only telling the children how to live but as a father, you must set an example of how they must live,” Adolph advised.
He described raising his children as quite an honourable experience, explaining that in his previous official capacity he also sought to instil positive values in young fathers in his community from time to time. Adolph believes that fathers, especially young fathers, should be encouraged to shape their children’s lives in such a way that they can be of good value to their society. He admitted, however, that it may be tough trying to mould children in today’s society given the increase in outside influences.
“The way that you want them to grow, because of today’s society they may see it as ‘old fashioned’…so the challenge as a father is trying to embed values when you’re faced with today’s world,” Adolph explained.
Despite this, he encourages fathers to persevere, noting that although his children are grown, he still tries to maintain a good relationship with them.
“One of the things that make me feel proud as a father is when we could sit down at home and laugh and talk, have conversations, listening to them, sharing experiences on what life was all about in your time coming up; when you can sit down and have healthy conversations and just be happy spending quality time; even as they grow, you can still sit down and speak with them. They have an issue, they can share it with you. That makes you proud as a father,” Adolph declared with pride.
He related that he intended to maintain this sort of relationship with his children throughout his lifetime. In reminiscing, Adolph noted that years ago, communities were more involved in helping to raise children. He urged that this should be the case again.
In looking at today’s society, Adolph warned young fathers against the ‘get rich quick’ mentality, noting that often it leads to unwise decisions. Instead, he urges them to become educated, work hard with their hands, and adhere to good advice. He further encouraged fathers to work hard to break the cycle of child abandonment.
“I would encourage all young men to take up their responsibility as a man, shake yourself, swallow your pride and look after your children because at the end of the day, they are the future of tomorrow… The child may come by mistake, but at the end of the day, it comes into the world and God expects you to look after your child,” he stated.
Admitting that there may be specific circumstances where fathers may not be able to provide for their families, he urges those in a position to make the best use of it. In this vein, he urged that more opportunities be provided to assist young fathers.
“Some men are in prison, so they cannot get to take care of their children as well as they want to…for some, it’s unemployment. They may have a child and they would say to me ‘I love this child, but I ain’t getting work to maintain them…I ain’t getting money…and that’s one of the greatest challenges…a young man may be willing to work and you don’t have jobs to maintain their family, We need to create employment so that the young men could learn to maintain their families. It causes us to think a lot, being in a position. What could we do? It’s really heart-rending,” Adolph related.
Nevertheless, he encouraged young fathers to also think outside the box and create employment for themselves, suggesting that they get into farming.
“Do a little kitchen garden, do farming. You may not get money today, but consistent farming could help you to get money, so that you could maintain your family… I think it’s time Guyanese fathers go back to the soil,” he iterated.
Adolph stressed, however, that the reality is that a lot of young people do not see farming as lucrative. Regardless, he noted that it was a good means of entrepreneurship.
“Sit down and look into your community, see what is needed. Try to fit in there, so that you can help…not only be proud to be called a father, but take care of your children,” Adolph reiterated.
As for him, he noted that as Father’s Day comes around each year, he is increasingly happier and proud of his role as a father and being able to celebrate with his children.
