Using… Pablo’s playbook

You, Dear Readers, would be happy to know your Eyewitness overcame his laughing (snickering?) fit from yesterday listening to Sanction Man’s press conference!! As the LOO, he’d called it to tell us what he’d be doing – as a President-in-waiting in a parliamentary democracy!! – to fix what ails us and our nation!! But what had your Eyewitness in stitches from the word go was Sanction Man spending more time on HIS problems than ours!!
He once again complained bitterly that the extradition hearing to get him into that cute orange jumpsuit for a date in the open population of an American penitentiary is all about the Government being afraid of him and his political party, WIN!! Hello??!! The US OFAC had formally submitted its request for his extradition back on October 30, 2025 – when he hadn’t even entered into the political arena!! As per its treaty obligation, the Govt HAD to process the request under the Fugitive Offenders Act!!
But your Eyewitness now thinks Sanction Man might’ve already been planning a political role since Reuters and Insight News had already “called his name” in reference to dealing with dirty Venezuelan gold!! He would’ve known what comes with those operations – which extends all the way to Columbia and its notorious product!! As a pre-emptive move, he’d been copying the young, mega-billionaire, narco-smuggling Columbian Pablo Escobar’s playbook – so the amazing parallels in their activities weren’t coincidental!!
Pablo had so much money from his drug smuggling into the US that he decided to build houses, parks and community centres for the poor while distributing money freely to them!! A human shield against what he knew was coming down the pike – US OFAC’s sanctions and extradition for violating American law!! Not surprising, this made him very popular – and he eventually decided to run for – and won – a Congressional seat from his district!! It’s clear to your Eyewitness that Sanction Man just can’t get the timelines straight from his PABLO-INSPIRED PLANS for extending his philanthropy to a political role – and then taking the plunge!!
But there were some questions on OUR challenges – beginning with the cost of living!! He called for price controls on basic items – but didn’t address the challenges of distortion of market signals to produce shortages of items due to increased demands or lowered quality by producers!! Nor did he comment on the supply-side expansion or direct targeted financial assistance favoured by the Govt!!
But the LOO’s qualification’s in his heart, innit??!!

…democratic institutions
One of our challenges in Mudland is we’re fixated on seeing “democratic” governance only in the activities of the Executive!! Now don’t get your Eyewitness wrong – he accepts that’s where most of Governmental actions emanate – but appreciates also that the framers of democratic governance have created THREE branches of Government!! We ignore the parliamentary and judicial ones!!
Well, your Eyewitness was pleased to read that the Public Accounts Committee – always headed by a member of the Opposition – which scrutinises the spending of the Government, just received the support of the Government to examine the financial reports from 2020 to 2025 simultaneously!! This means that FINALLY we’ll be bringing this vital aspect of democracy current – and following the money in real time rather than historically as has been the case!!
But apart from this substantive democratic role – there’s the procedural one of the Opposition and Government cooperating on this vital aspect of Government!!
Kinda makes you almost tear up and your heart swell, doesn’t it!! Almost!!

…bribes
A cop’s under close arrest for allegedly taking an $800,000 payment from Sanction Man for illegally procuring the Police recording of the car chase the LOO showed at his presser – purportedly about him being “ambushed” in an assassination attempt!!
Money talks??