Like most of the “days” that have now become de rigueur for families to commemorate, “Father’s Day” is another American gift to the world. Not surprisingly then, its commemoration was driven by commercial concerns – in this case, the neck-tie industry. This year, in the US spending on “Dad” is expected to reach an all-time high – exceeding US billion – but while “clothing” as a category is just behind greeting cards as a gift for “father”, the figures on ties have not been disaggregated. In Guyana, while there have not been any surveys done, from anecdotal evidence, Father’s Day is more of a private occasion with, at most, a special meal prepared for “Dad” or adult children possible visiting “the old Man”.
Mother’s Day, of course, is much more widely commemorated, and maybe this tells a story that may be unconnected to the American experience where Mother’s Day official recognition in 1914 preceded calls for Father’s Day to be recognised. It was not until 1972, after all that US President Nixon declared the event an “official day”. In the Caribbean with our experience of slavery being the foundational fact of our societal creation, the secondary role of fathers in the family might have something to do his historical peripheralisation.
The arrival of the indentured servants after slavery would coincide with the governmental policy to encourage stable families to reduce expenditures on quelling disorders. The nuclear family where “the man was the head of the house” and “father knows best”, was now the official policy even though structural continuities ensured in a wide swathe of African Guyanese families where this was more an ideal than a reality. The father was oftentimes a peripatetic visiting figure, nor very encouraging to acts of filial piety, such as having a special day observed in his honour.
But even in an era in which the “patriarchal oppressive” nature of the “traditional” nuclear family has been sharply criticised by feminists, it is generally acknowledged that single-parent families – which generally means a single mother – is not the ideal institution for raising future generations. And this has remained the major function of mothers and fathers in spite of communal proposals from Plato in the 500BCE to Skinner in the 20th century.
Rather than throwing out the mother and father with the bathwater, the emphasis in the present has to be placed on both of them playing roles in which family responsibilities are equitably shared. Too often, the “father”, even when present in the Guyanese family, sees his role as to bring home a “pay-packet” and leaving all other responsibilities on the mother. Before commemorating Father’s Day, we must be very clear about what a “father” is supposed to be – apart from the very obvious biological procreative role.
He would still remain as a “breadwinner”, even as he accepts that in a supposedly ever-changing world, women are returning to the workplace in as great a percentage as occurred during slavery and indentureship. Many have evidently forgotten that in those historical working relations, very little distinction was made between men and women, save in the type of tasks assigned. The point being that if at one stage of our history we were able to move from equal participation of women in the workforce and then change to the latter’s sequestration in the homes (where their work was given no value), then we can reverse that process. Obviously sufficient thought has to be given so as not to endanger the proper development of the children.
As implied earlier, if there are two “breadwinners” in the new world being created within the home, there will have to be a reassignment of roles away from what is now thought to be “women and men’s work”.
In the wider society, the State will have to make more accommodations for the welfare of the child during the work day – for instance standardising “creches” at workplaces.
Happy Father’s Day!
