Suggested concession speech for Mr Granger

Dear Editor,
It seems as if our “lame duck”, holdover, caretaker President Granger is having a difficult time conceding the election to the PPP’s Dr. Irfaan Ali, thus prolonging the national torment and agony since the PNC’s defeat at the December 2018 No Confidence Vote.
The longer the PNC overstays its time, the more it is getting into trouble and pretending to be a real government, doling out state lands and assets, and signing new procurement contracts that would land state functionaries into serious trouble once the new Government takes over. So, to help out Mr. Granger, here is my suggested concession speech.
“Guyanese, on July 8, the CCJ ruled against us, and now the matter has to go back to GECOM to make a final declaration using the numbers from the Recount. Once that is done, our “cork duck.” The only other recourse is an election petition. The CCJ ruling, while not surprising, was not what we were expecting.
“As you know, for the past 19 months, although the rest of the world was against us, we have tried every imaginable and unimaginable trick and every shenanigan to delay our exit from government. We were fighting for you. Remember, while everyone thought it was hilarious, we went all the way to the CCJ to argue with a straight face that 33 was not the majority in a 65-member Parliament, although that was how we got into government. So, you see what I mean, we tried every trick to keep the PPP out, but every long rope has to come to an end.
“In addition, you remember that after the election we claimed that we won using Apostle Mingo’s concocted numbers, and that the election was immaculately run. Everyone said so, including me. But to keep the PPP out after the recount verified we lost, we came up with a ‘Nancy’ story about dead and migrated people voting, and Bro. Harmon added children voting; and we are beating this dead horse to death. But nobody is buying it, except the few of you in that category of ‘you can fool some of the people all of the time’.
“So, our PNC Guyanese, please give us some credit for trying hard to follow in the footsteps of our founder-riggers, Burnham and Hoyte. Those guys manufactured two-thirds majority at the drop of a hat during their time, but I could not do that, even with Bro. Lowenfield’s help, supported by Apostle Mingo and other supporters in GECOM.
“Already they are calling me ‘Rigadier’, and I really don’t like that name, as I worked so hard to fool you all that I am a church man. So, we tried hard, my PNC brethren. Don’t be angry at us. You know, GECOM now has only one option, and that is to swear in Dr. Irfaan Ali; and nothing can stop that, even if our PNC Commissioners are causing delays in GECOM meeting to do so.
“Our propaganda team of Harmon, Burke, Bond, Jones and Duncan is churning it up, but nobody is buying it, apart from a few faithful who are warriors on Facebook blogs. Bro. Norton, my former rival for Party Leader, would have gotten my new ‘Don Quixote’ award I would have created if we had won. He is seeing windmills everywhere! I may give him a seat in Parliament for his efforts.
“So, my dear party supporters, you put me in a bad spot on Wednesday when you showed up at my gate. While I have been in hiding for most of the past 4+ months, I just had to come out and say something after I saw you looking so lost and leaderless. After all, some of you stood with me as we fed you lies upon lies that the PPP bribed everybody and rigged the elections. I could not let you down as I saw your sad, angry, despondent faces. I could not bring myself to tell you it’s over, that it’s only a matter of days before the PPP will be sworn in. So now, here is the truth: We actually lost fair and square; and as Mr. Gonsalves, Chair of CARICOM, advised me, we must ‘take our licks like a man.’
“Please do not be disheartened. We have 31 seats (and we won these fairly) and we will give the PPP as much hell as possible. Maybe, we will rehabilitate ourselves and get back in power in 2025. So, do not lose heart. As the Pentecostal preachers are doing: pray longer, louder, and harder that we make it back in 2025. But remember, when we react with violence, that is never a good thing. Already, everybody thinks we are such sore losers that we have immensely harmed the country in the throes of bankruptcy and a health crisis. That’s not helpful to our image. Even the CCJ rebuked us yesterday, saying that we have not had a Parliament for over a year. So please understand that we have to concede now, and there is no other option.
“Thank you for believing in me, and let’s hope for the best under the PPP. As always, I am following the Constitution.”

Sincerely,
Jerry Singh