Satiricus wasn’t feeling too much in the Christmas spirit right now. He’d just had to wait overnight at the airport for his wife’s cousin Georgie, but he never showed on account of his plane never showing up at JFK Airport in New York.
“I always told you Georgie was a cheapskate,” he grumbled to his wife Caustic, as they drove slowly home in their jalopy.
“What did he do now?” demanded Caustic heatedly. She agreed with Satiricus, but felt honour-bound to defend her family’s honour.
“Why did he have to book a cheap-charter flight?” said Satiricus with some irritation. “The way he carries on about all the houses he owns in Richmond Hill, he should be flying in on his own private jet!”
“Let’s not get carried away now, Sato,” said Caustic mildly. “If he saves on the passage… he’ll have more to spend on us!”
“Spend? Him? Georgie spending on us?” retorted Satiricus with growing outrage. “The last time he visited, we had to even buy him coconut water!”
“OK, Mr Last-of-the-Big-Time-Spenders,” said Caustic, as she tried to change the subject. “How many gold rings did you buy me today?”
“Gold rings?” asked a puzzled Satiricus. “Why do I have to buy you gold rings?”
“It’s just five more days to Christmas, you know.” And with that announcement, Caustic burst into song, “On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me: Five Golden Rings; Four Calling Birds; Three French Hens; Two Turtle Doves; and a Partridge in a Pear Tree.”
Satiricus was disarmed – but not entirely. He said with a smile, “Well, seeing how we don’t have Partridges and French Hens and all that in Guyana, I asked Georgie to bring them from New York!”
“OK… Now I know I’ll never get them!” Caustic confessed. “That Georgie always was cheap. Almost like your Finance Minister!!”
“Almost!” admitted Satiricus. “Jer Dan is in a class by himself! If he can tax water, what will he do with French Hens?!”
