Annihilated!!

Satiricus was devastated as he trundled towards the Back Street Bar. There was only so much punishment a fella can take, he moaned to himself. All night long he’d scoured the news outlets hoping against all odds his leader Nagga Man would be proven right. The first titbit he got wasn’t encouraging: the leader’s own sister, his flesh and blood, had been soundly beaten in the village she and her brother had been born in – by a rank unknown!!
“Sato!” yelled Bungi, as he spied Satiricus slouching towards their table. “Come tell abee wha’ ‘guh ‘laang wid yuh KFC party!”
“C’mon guys,” said Satiricus morosely, as he took a swig from his beer bottle. “I’m trying to deal with our defeat, you know.”
“Defeat?! Defeat?!” asked Cappo, his voice rising in disbelief. “Da na wan ‘defeat’; da a wan massacar!!”
“So tell me Sato,” asked Hari. “What came into Nagga Man head to promise he would beat PPCEE in his village?”
“Well, most of the people are his family, you know,” answered Satiricus. “His sister, his Cha Cha; his Poowah and Poppa, and his Daabit all have very large families!”
“Suh now abee know even Nagga Man fambly na vote fuh am!” chortles Bungi. “Wha’ ‘e guh do now?”
“I don’t know about him,” said Satiricus quietly. “I have to decide what I will do.”
All eyes at the table swivelled towards Satiricus. “Wha’ yuh mean budday?” asked Cappo in a worried tone. “Na do nuttin schupid yuh know!”
“Naah,” said Satiricus with a wry smile, as he reached for another bottle of beer. “I think it’s time I quit the KFC party.”
“You don’t mean that, do you?” said Hari. “Look how much you gave to the KFC!”
“Na fuh men-shan all dem tantalise fram abee!” laughed Cappo.
“That’s not it fellas,” said Satiricus. “Nagga Man’s boast was the last straw! How could he give us supporters hope, when even his blood wouldn’t vote for him?”
“Me t’ing da bes’,” said Bungi. “Dead Meat can mek yuh sick!”