Satiricus was jubilant. In all the doom and gloom over the so-called “bad behaviour” in Parliament, he had kept his cool, even as his editor had insisted he cover the goings on there. In Satiricus’ estimation, the British had left us two great institutions – Parliament and cricket. And not necessarily in that order. That had become the topic in the gyaaf at the Back Street Bar.
“My friends, let us start with cricket,” began Satiricus. “Did you ever see the English watching cricket at Lords?”
“Budday, me see dem pan TV!” exclaimed Bungi. “W’en dem own maan knock wan six, dem just tap dem finga!!”
“That’s the point I’m making, fellas!” said Satiricus as he slapped the table for emphasis. “We didn’t continue with cricket like the English!”
“Carnival cricket!!” gushed Cappo. “Da abee t’ing!!”
“And the English have to copy us!” said Hari. “They haven’t taken to bringing in roti and curry with rum, as yet, but they’re getting there!!”
“Yes! Me hear den na eat cucumba san-wich nowadays,” said Bungi. “An’ dem allow beer.”
“And that’s why I don’t agree with all this moaning and groaning about what happened in Parliament!” exclaimed Satiricus. “Does the Talker think we’re Englishmen?”
“Yuh mean, w’en abee MP behave bad, dem na really behave bad?” asked Cappo, in surprise.
“That’s right! “Bad” is relative!” said Satiricus. “This is how we play politics!! We don’t just shake our heads when we disagree. We cuss and cuff!”
“Yeah!” said Bungi. “Da wha’abee does do whe’ever abee deh!! Da abee Guyanese cul-cha!!””
“So we’re really decolonising Parliament!!” said Hari in wonder. “Those shirt jacks by Burnt Ham and Jag Hand were just the beginning!!”
“That’s right!” said Satiricus with rising excitement. “Did you see that video of the Uganda Parliament? Chairs were flying and MPs were jumping over desks to throw punches!!”
“Real decolonisation, boy!” said Hari. “Maybe we should put a boxing ring in Parliament?”
They all drank to that.
