Losing their mom for Mother’s Day: Triplets tell their story

By Andrew Carmichael

Mother’s Day is that time of the year when persons show appreciation for their mothers or persons they consider a mother but for those without a mother, it is a challenge on emotions.
This is the case for triplets, Jenepher, Jescia and Johanna Pensammy, who lost their mother, Amedia Backus, two weeks ago. Today, Mother’s Day, will be their first without her.

Speaking with Guyana Times, the three 11-year-olds said that they were very close to their mother since they did not have a good relationship with their father. The triplets, rocking in a hammock as they spoke to this publication, in a sombre tone, said that it has only been two weeks since they attended their mother’s funeral and the reality that they are now without her is emotionally wrecking. With tears in their eyes, the girls questioned their dead mother as to why she had to leave them. The girls, of Canefield, East Canje, Berbice, told this publication that the road ahead will be challenging but at this moment in time, they cannot focus so far as they are simply trying to get through their grief one day at a time for now. As of now, the girls said that they are keeping their mother in their thoughts on Mother’s Day, adding that her memories will guide and be with them for the rest of their lives. The triplets told this publication that the reality of anything else is too monumental for them to talk about presently, saying that they are finding it difficult to confront the reality of “Mother’s Day without mom”.
The girls have two other siblings – one older and one younger. As they spoke with this publication, Jenepher, the quietest but considered the most responsible; Jescia, considered the bully and Johanna, who is very persuasive but strong-headed, all wanted another Mother’s Day with their mother.
Now they have to depend on each other as none of them is old enough to take on that motherly role, forcing them to stare reality straight in the face. One of the triplets said that the loss of a mother and, more so, days before Mother’s Day, cannot be described in words. For now, the girls are staying with a neighbour as they try to build a relationship with their father who also lives nearby.

Losing her job
Meanwhile, this publication reached out to Didawattie Sharma, who is also from East Canje, Berbice, who lost her job after the Rose Hall Sugar Estate closed.
At the age of eight, Sharma lost her mother and grew up with a stepmother. At 52, those memories have all faded.
The death of her stepmother several years ago cannot come close to her not being able to do what she has been doing on Mother’s Day for the past decade.
“I have a few adopted mothers and on Mother’s Day I like to invite some of them over and cook a nice meal for them and make them feel special,” she told this publication.
Sharma, who worked with the Rose Hall Sugar Estate is now jobless following the closure of the estate 17 months ago.
“Mother’s Day is every day but there is a special day that we put aside for mothers. ‘Mother’ means the world to me.”
“I can’t do anything for my mothers now because I don’t have a job and that really hurts,” she told this newspaper.
She said that buying gifts and paying visits to all of her “mothers” is something she looked forward to but she cannot afford it this year.
“You can’t even make ends meet. Mother’s Day is a very special day and it has always been something I look forward to. Right here in East Canje, so many mothers are struggling and many of the men will not be able to do more than say Happy Mother’s Day to their wives. Mother’s day can’t be a happy time for us here in Canje.”
“One of my friends, she had to go and do people housework just to be able to buy something for her mother. Just to make her mother happy. Mother’s don’t look forward for anything but…”
Sharma recalls Mother’s Day in 2016 when she invited several mothers to her home and dined with them.
“I was able to give them a gift and make them happy because many mothers don’t have family. Those are the things I like doing but now I can’t,” Sharma noted while adding that for the past two years, she has not been able to spread joy and happiness on Mother’s Day.