Satiricus came from a farm. And like they say, you can take the boy from the farm, but you can’t take the farm from the boy. So when Satiricus heard Nagga Man was helping rice farmers, he was mighty pleased. Even though Nagga Man was from fishing stock (which is different from “fish stock”), he was a fella so full of bull, manure farmers liked him around. So it was not surprising to Satiricus to learn Nagga Man’s actual help to rice farmers was to obtain fertiliser on the cheap. Fertiliser was just a fancy way of talking about “bull manure”.
Seems when Nagga Man was in New York pressing the flesh on the campaign trail and insisting he was no “Apache Indian”, he hooked up with an enterprising “outside” Guyanese named Hard Hat. Hard Hat was a smooth operator. He ran a business from his basement apartment that had never made any profit – but he had a slick website and all that. Hard Hat pressed some cash into Naga Man’s outstretched hand and insisted he was just a good ole Guyana Babu.
Pretty soon after Nagga Man became the PRIME Moocher, however, his KFC colleague Trot Man made the Kitty Declaration of the “KFC’s doctrine of Campaign Contributions”. This was right after the leader of the KFC Rum Jhaat bigged up his old business buddy for paying for the KFC’s new Headquarters. When some small minded spoilsport snidely remarked the KFC seemed to be for sale, Trot Man huffily enunciated the Kitty Declaration:
“Campaign Contributions are hereby acknowledged as “political investments”. Like all investments, they are supposed to generate a substantial internal rate of return (IRR) equivalent to at least 1000 times what the Campaign Contributor would have earned had he invested it in a Panamanian Tax Haven.”
And it was in the spirit of the Kitty Declaration that Nagga Man spoke to his acolyte Has-San to award a 0 million contract to Hard Hat for cheap bull manure for rice farmers. Hard Hat was also full of bull manure and was certain he could supply the requisite amount from his basement.
However, he wanted half of the payment up front so that he could get his IRR. He would have to hire several men to scoop up so much bull manure.
However back in Guyana, Has San’s GRAB Board balked. They said they could get plenty of bull manure right here in Guyana from men like Nagga Man.
And didn’t have to pay up front.
