Rumbling, rambling and rummaging with humorous Guyanese rumours

Dear Editor,
Day in and day out, Guyana never experiences the saturation of humorous rumours overspilling the tabloids to wonder and ponder at any given time of the day or night, in and out of this wonderful land of many waters and races. Whether it’s in the mainstream of political, economic, or social nature, the cup will always overflow with ripe, juicy, and hot news, running, rerouting, and reuniting its way to grow bigger, better, and braver as it gravely travels from ear to ear!
For instance, rape attempted rape, or the threat of rape is not the tip of the iceberg but is top of the menu for appetizers. Jean Carrol is certainly a sweet carol and music to the ears while being a ‘trump’ card and making head and heat waves to favour the realms of fantastic flavours. My favorite lyrics are washing on the Guyanese seashore.
The ‘touch of India’ has a boomerang effect on Guyanese politics. Desirous of leading a party that has been cloned with the icon of ancestors of a particular origin, those in contrast to those “who cannot think for themselves,” may want to spare a moment and consider, how the just concluded Indian election was conducted, more so, how quickly the votes were counted. 640 million citizens went to the Indian poll and within a matter of 6 weeks, the polls closed, the votes counted, the results were published and a government was sworn in. A certain wizard computed that it would take 155 days to recount less than half a million Guyanese votes! Talk about calculating the majority of 65 with mathematical geniuses and coining the ‘mentally lazy’ term, bringing back sorrowful memories!
The dreadful agony of apartheid from a previous South Africa pampers the illusion of a few Guyanese, daydreaming with fictitious fantasies. Those warped minds were harnessed and brought back to reality again when the Afrieximbank announced a loan of US$500 million to President Ali’s PPP/C government. The African business leaders are making a mockery of those who claim apartheid exists in Guyana.
The acronym, “Old is gold,” is the golden oldies that remain irresistible. From the days of yore, buccaneers pirated the seas for golden coins and jewelry. The pioneers explored and exploited the land for nature’s gift. As ‘the New World’ was invaded by intruders, the colonialists grabbed and shipped out Guyana’s gold. Now, Guyana’s gold is being ‘flown’ out without the flight of any imagination.
While many detractors, naysayers, and insurgents are clamoring for the glamour of shutting down the oil and gas industry and the sugar industry, investors are hunting opportunities to be part of the ‘gold mine’ in Guyana. Many overseas business companies want to partner with their Guyanese counterparts. They remain optimistic about the positive advancement of the PPP/C government to develop and advance the country as the fastest-growing country in this hemisphere with the highest GDP per capita. This contradicts the negative picture painted by those who see everything wrong with the project undertaken by this progressive administrator.
A Cambio had its license revoked by the Bank of Guyana, a senior official resigned, smugglers were caught at the airport trying to ship out gold illegally, there were numerous drug busts, planes, boats, and other properties were confiscated from the ‘underworld,’ many fields cultivating marijuana/ganja are being destroyed and many drug traffickers are being caught and jailed. The Police and other law enforcement agencies are certainly stepping up in the detection and prevention of illegal activities. More planes, patrol boats, vehicles, and motorcycles are being provided by the Government to help in this fight against crime. Now, with an additional 1200 body cameras, more transparency in police activities is anticipated and the expectation of ‘left or right’ will see some hesitation.
It wasn’t Lawrence of Arabia but one closer home who said back in 2018, “We got to bring more like them in…Comrades, politics is a numbers game.” A convoluted, compromising, or corrupt comment? Then again, “The only friends I got is PNC so the only people I gon give wuk to is PNC and right now I looking for a doctor who can talk Spanish or Portuguese, and ah want one that is PNC.” Confirmation of a carefully crafted concept conceived and not concealed? Blows are flying like butterflies and stinging with the venom of bees as the PNC Congress approaches. Burnham had his face imprinted on exercise books. Who will be the next ambitious applicant?
After centuries of being asleep, the dead has awakened and not a sleeping giant. The ‘B’, the ‘C’ and the ‘N’ words are no longer applicable, allowed, or admitted. Secretly, they were ‘admired’ and addressed appropriately. Will Martin Carter have to rewrite his poem, “I come from the N… yard?” Would he have resisted the change? Guess we have to let ‘sleeping dogs lie.’ By the way, those from the mixed race, will they be objecting to the ‘D’ word…Dougla? Amendment to follow Honorable Minister! We may as well clean the slate.
Gudakesh Motie has spun his way to being named Men’s ICC Player of the Month for May 2024. Again, Guyana is on top of the world and making noise as a tourist attraction to travelers from around the world. With so many visitors bombarding the country daily, it’s not only Guyanese from the Diaspora but others who are seeing and seeking the beauty of the country. The Government is providing financial help for those desirous of getting spectacles. Many from the opposite side may need to take advantage of the Government’s programme. Thankfully, the oil revenue is being properly utilized. But the rumbling, rambling and rummaging of humorous Guyanese rumours will not stop but add sunshine on a rainy day.

Yours respectfully,
Jai Lall.