State of the Dinner

Satiricus couldn’t get over the snobbishness, snootiness and snottiness of some people. Here it was… Guyana was celebrating 50 years of wrenching Independence from England. And let’s not fool ourselves, England it was: Scotland, Ireland and Wales were just as colonised as us in the boons. And these folks still felt we had to slavishly imitate the English in the way we celebrated. What colonial mindsets!

“So we should serve cucumber sandwiches at the Stadium during our 20/20 Cricket matches?” fumed Satiricus to his buddy Cappo. “Over my dead body! Chicken and roti it is!”

“Ah wha’ badda yuh dis time, Sato?” Cappo said solicitously, as he nursed his beer.

“Didn’t you read how some stiff-necked people criticising the government because some fellas “pope” the VIP stand?” Satiricus asked.

“Wha wraang wid people poping? De expect people fuh stand in line fuh siddown an’ watch flag raise?” Cappo was incredulous. “Dis ah Guyana!”

“Well, in England they stand in line for hours to even get into a bus, without complaining,” explained Satiricus . “They call it queueing.”

“Well, dem shoulda come fuh catch bus by Stabroek Market!!” started out Cappo belligerently, and then suddenly caught himself. “Aha!! Suh dat wha mek dem move de bus fram Stabroek Market… Dem na want dem fariner fuh see abee nah “Q”!” Abee does “P”, but abee na “Q”!”

“That’s what I’m saying..They want us not only to be like England…but England 50 years ago when we got Independence!” moaned Satiricus.

“Like dem na see football game in England, nowadays,” grinned Cappo. “Mo bottles and fight dan de ole Bourda!”

“But what bother me most is the complaint that Prezzie use plastic plate and spoon at de Gala Dinner,” said Satiricus.

“Ah wha’ wraang wid plastic plate and spoon?” Cappo asked in astonishment. “Dem fancy plate cyaan hold peppa pat.”

“With their colonial mentality that’s exactly what they want,” said Satiricus. “And porcelain tea cups they have to stick their pinkie out to hold.”

“Dem want me stick out anadda finga pan dem!” snorted Cappo. “If abee independent we gat fuh do ting abee way. Me prouda Prezzie.”

“Yep!” snorted Satiricus. “Everybody had to line up an hour for their food! Real Guyanese, boy!”