Who’s the plantain?

Satiricus was still in a state of euphoria! He now understood how MLK must’ve felt when he shouted, “Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, I am free at last!!” He was strolling towards the Back Street Bar and realized he must’ve yelled out aloud, since several persons near him jumped back in shock!! He smiled sheepishly as he ducked into the Bar.
“Fellas, I can’t tell you how a weight has lifted from my shoulders since I quit the KFC!” said Satiricus, as he sat down with the fellas.  “But now abee na get none news fram Nagga Man and Rum Jhaat,” complained Cappo.  “Don’t worry!” said Satiricus expansively. “They still call me, hoping to get me back!”
“You mean for your paper to cover them!!” smiled Hari, as he touched bottles with Satiricus.
“Maybe,” conceded Satiricus. “But I still hear from them.”
“Suh wha’ dem tell yuh?” inquired Bungi, who’d been polishing off his beer in one long gurgle.
“That the LGE elections show the KFC is stronger than ever!” laughed Satiricus.
“W’en 4% mo’ dan 11%? Da mus’ be de new Mat’s me a hear ‘bout!!” said Cappo. “KFC a now de 4% party!!”
“Nagga Man’s not talking about the strength of KFC numbers, my friends,” said Hari. “He’s now Pee’nSee!”
“Me ‘gree,” said Bungi. “Yuh na see de elect-shan result? Straang breeze ah mek crow an’ eagle light pan waan line!”
“But the PPCEE breeze shake up even the line,” pointed out Satiricus.
“Nagga Man fo’get wha’ me Daady bin tell me,” said Cappo. “W’en cow deh a pas-tah ‘e nah remember weh daag and butcher deh, till ‘e see am!”
“Well it looks like Jagdesh has a rope on the whole Pee’nSee government’s neck with his no-confidence motion!” smiled Hari.
“Suh wha’ Nagga Man seh ‘bout da?!” asked Bungi, looking at Satiricus.
“He said he won’t allow the vote until he catch the traitors who will vote with PPCEE!” reported Satiricus.
“Budday, na he and Rum Jhaat set de pattern fuh trait’ah?” asked Cappo. “If yuh plant plant’in yuh cyaan reap cassava!”