Satiricus always knew he wasn’t the brightest bulb in the room. Any room! But he figured that was how the (brains) cookie crumbled, and admired those who clearly had more marbles upstairs than he did. So he was particularly chuffed when he read about the kid who copped TWENTY-FIVE subjects at CSEC. Satiricus had been quite happy with the five subjects he’d managed to scrape together back in the day.
“So you think anybody will beat that score?” Satiricus asked, as he settled down with his beer.
“Budday, wance yuh set wan target, somebady guh beat am!” said Bungi with assurance.
“Yeah,” said Hari. “Remember when no one thought kids could get twenty subjects?”
“In our days, ten was a big number!” exclaimed Satiricus. “How many you wrote again, Bungi?”
“Na mek yuh rass wid me!” said Bungi good-naturedly. “De waan subjek me pass mo’ dan all you five!”
“How so?” asked Satiricus. “Prove that to me, and I’ll buy beer tonight!”
“Well me waan subjik, Agri, mek me wan good cane-cutta,” said Bungi winking at Hari. “An’ wan good cane-cutta gat fuh pass five tec’nical subjik!”
“Really?” asked Satiricus. “Lay it on me!”
“Well, filin’ de cutlass a waan subjik,” said Bungi. “You t’ink anybody can file dong an’ balance wan cutlass?”
Satiricus nodded, “OK.”
“Cutting’ de cane a waan nex’ subjik,” said Bungi. “How far fram de tap an’ how low fram de groun’ suh yuh na chap yuh toe!”
Satiricus nodded again. “Two!”
“Liftin’ de cane bundle, a wan technical subjik, “Bungi grinned as Satiricus nodded. “Suh yuh na get goadie!!”
“Fetchin’ de cane to de punt a namba four,” continued Bungi.
“And number five?” demanded Satiricus
“How fuh drink free rum an’ beer fram yuh fr’en an’ na get drunk!!” grinned Bungi. “Da de bes’ subjik!!”