Satiricus was stumped. He just couldn’t figure out what caused the delay in the counting of the 800-odd (very odd!!) votes at the Pee an’ See Kongress. As a KFC member who was joined at the hip to the Pee an’ See in the Government, he had some skin in the game. And as such, he knew he’d have some explaining to do to the fellas at the Back Street Bar, where he was headed. By the time he took his seat, he’d called his leader Rum Jhaat.
“Sato, ole fr’en!!” said Cappo enthusiastically, as Satiricus took a swig of his beer. “Suh tell abee ‘bout the Pee an’ See countin’ na?”
“Yes! Like dem run outa finga fuh count, or wha?” chimed in Bungi. “Me does count fine s’rim’s mo’ fas’ dan dem count vote!!”
“Listen fellas, this was real democracy in action!!” said Satiricus. “You know they say, ‘democracy is one man one vote’?”
“Yes,” said Hari, leaning forward with interest.
“Well, the Pee an’ See went further than that,” said Satiricus. “Every delegate counted the vote! One man, one count!!”
“Beca’se none a dem na trus’ matie, right?” asked Cappo. “All a dem know how dem a rig!!”
“No boy! Remember how the PPCEE called for ‘counting at the places of poll’ to increase accuracy of the polls?” asked Satiricus. “This is every voter counting! Real democracy, boy!!”
“Wha’ me t’ink, dem army bai mussee seize de ballat an’ count dem ten time fuh mek sure dem fr’en lose!” suggested Bungi.
“Sato, maybe the ballot counters were in that ‘drunk and disorderly’ crash at the Georgetown Club,” said Hari with a smile. “And were still too drunk to count!”
“Yes, na gi’e abee dis ‘demacracy” crap!” said Cappo. “Me see Rum Jhaat bin deh. Wha’ r’ally happen?”
“All right…all right,” conceded Satiricus. “I’ll tell you what happened.” Everyone leaned forward as Satiricus continued.
“The army boys DID seize the ballots,” admitted Satiricus. “But they were no match for those Pee an’ See women who beat the sh*t out of them in a six-hour battle!!”
