Satiricus was surprised. And as most people would know – and his friend Cappo certainly did – this was not an unusual condition for him. “What are people so upset about?” he asked plaintively.
“Suh wha’ badda yuh dis time, Sato?” asked Cappo without pausing, as he polished off the beer he’d just started. He and Satiricus were at the Back Street Bar, fighting off the heat wave, the only way they knew – with a continuous stream of cold beer.
“What do you mean?” replied Satiricus, surprised that Cappo didn’t divine what was going on inside his head. “What wrong did Van East Charlie do, for people to hound him so?”
“Yuh talkin’ ’bout Baby Jesus?” asked Cappo with a grin as he waved frantically to the waitress to replenish his depleted beer stocks.
“That’s being very rude, Cappo,” said Satiricus sententiously. “You know the man was Burnt Ham son-in-law.”
“Me know, Sato,” said Cappo in relief as he saw the waitress meandering her way towards their table. “Da wha’ mek people use fuh call’e “Baby Jesus”!!”
“What?!” exclaimed Satiricus.
“Yes, Budday!” said Cappo. ” ‘e cou’d do not’in wraang. He bin a Gaad son!”
“Sometimes I don’t know about you, Cappo,” said Satiricus. “I’m talking about how people carrying on just because he got a licence to import and export oil.”
“Look like ‘e still ah Gaad son!” said Cappo with a snort. “De maan get dat licence in five weeks! Me brudder-in-law tek five year fuh hear he cyaan open wan gas station!”
“I didn’t know that,” replied Satiricus. “Why?”
“He nah bin gat de prappa stainless steel storage tank, de GEA people tell ‘e,” said Cappo. “Suh Baby Jesus mussee gat big, big stainless tank fuh store all dem oil ‘e gon bring in?”
Satiricus was quiet for a while, then said quietly, “I don’t think he has any tanks.”
“An’ ‘e done get licence?” chortled Cappo. “Me tell yuh, de man ah Baby Jesus! But he nah de big baas fuh de Watah Company?”
“Yes, he’s the Chairman of the Water Company,” confirmed Satiricus. “What’s wrong with that?”
“Wraang? Me done tell yuh Baby Jesus cyaan do not’in wraang!” smiled Cappo. “Me jus’ t’ink ‘e can store de oil in dem big tank ‘e Watah Company bill all ovah de place.”
“Cappo, you know oil and water can’t mix,” said Satiricus sternly.
“Sato, if Jesus can change watah to wine, yuh na t’ink Baby Jesus can change watah to oil?”
