Satiricus had patiently listened to the Finance Minister (FM) broadcasting his Budget. His editor decided he should go to Parliament for the four-hour speech – even though he’d insisted he could do it just as well from the written text circulated. The editor said he wanted to cover all the personal “nuances”. Satiricus suspected his editor hoped the PPCEE would be holding up placards, shouting slogans, and banging on desks. They didn’t. Satiricus thought his editor looked disappointed when he handed in his report.
“Suh wha’ de Budget gat fuh abee?” demanded Bungi, even before Satiricus could get settled in his seat at the Back Street Bar.
“Do you think FM is Christmas Father?” asked Satiricus sourly as he signalled for his beer.
“Well, he certainly has the belly for the role!” snickered Hari, with a grin. “And Fat Man insisted on presenting the Budget before Christmas!”
“W’en Bungi seh “abee” ‘e mean suga workah,” said Cappo. “Any wuk or anyt’ing fuh all a dem who get fire?”
”Nah!” replied Satiricus, after taking a long swig of his beer. “FM said sugar is dragging down the whole country.”
“Suh ‘e fo’get w’en abee bin a fetch de whole country pan abee back?” asked Bungi. “Abee na bin get drag dong?”
“Well, FM said “no new taxes”!” said Satiricus cheerily.
“Wha’ good da a do sugah workah?” asked Cappo cynically. “Dem na get paycheck fuh tax.” “Look at the bright side,” suggested Satiricus. “Those fellas who get vacation allowances can now have it all tax free!” “Vacation allowance?!! Vacation allowance!!” Bungi almost screamed. “Dem sen’ me pan permanent vacation! Dem guh gi’e me allowance?”
“But seriously, Sato,” said Hari. “Aren’t there ANY measures to help poor people?”
“Your pensioner father will now get $500 more every month,” said Satiricus.
“Suh ‘e can buy two sweetie and suck whole mont’,” said Cappo sourly.
“While travelling on his journey to the good life,” concluded Hari.
